TopDesignBlogger

Thanks Everyone!

2007-04-23T05:12:00.000-07:00

That's All Folks!!!

Thank you, the readers, for all the support and for dropping in each day. TD was an ... uh... fair show with some outstanding designers.

Our thanks to all the designers who dropped by to chat with us as well. We wish them all the best and appreciated them having some fun with us.

Now come join us for more fun and laughs over on Bravissimo. We are blogging everything Bravo.

Designer's Wedding Bells

2007-04-19T06:47:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Carisa and Sebastian!!

Click HERE to read more.

Top Design Loft Floor Plan Challenge!

2007-04-17T11:58:00.000-07:00

The talented Linda Merrill of ::Surroundings:: has created a basic floor plan of the loft spaces used in the final challenge on Top Design and is hosting a challenge. Can you figure out a way to use the space better? I know I'll be submitting an entry! I love floor plans! Fun!

Check out Linda's post here!

Update: Linda has updated the basic floor plan and has already gotten a few entries. Get those entries in! There will be a prize!

Diva of the Week

2007-04-15T08:05:00.000-07:00

The final Diva of the Week award goes to......

If Top Design had been their first attempt at a reality show, I could understand the amateurish drivel that they cranked out each week. The designers were not allowed to show the full scope of their talents with the stupid challenges that Bravo kept throwing at them. And couldn't they have let the designers design actual rooms and not those claustrophobic cubicles that they were stuck in so often? The judges never took into account the time restraints, miniscule budgets, ect, ect, ect....I would have loved to have seen Jonathan, Kelly, Margaret or any of the guest judges in the same situations. I bet they would have made Carisa look like Mother Teresa.
Let's hope that they get it right next season!

(((MUAH)))

Posted by TheHoInMO

Final Taste Patrol

2007-04-15T00:00:00.000-07:00

Note: Our wonderful Ms. Place is jetting around the globe and asked that we fill in for her this week. Miss you Ms. Place.

Three Hula Men Bobble Award

The Three Hula Men Bobble Award goes to Ed and Carl and their hard working teams. This would not have been much of a season without all the talent these individuals brought to each designer.

Week after week, they were the backbone of each of the finished rooms.

They faced demanding challenges,

time lines,

supply issues and diva designers.

They lost their cool at times and almost a thumb...

but hung in there for each episode. They gave their all long before they learned they might also win $10,000. They did it for the designers, not the money.

Two Hula Men Bobble Award

The Two Hula Men Bobble Award goes to both Matt and Carisa for the designs of each loft.

You both put heart and soul into those lofts ...

but did not sit on your ass and watch the crew do all the work.

You noted their talent and gave credit where credit was due.

Then gave up the diva role, and let them do what they needed to do.

Kudos to both of you for a job well done.

The Trash it Award

The Trash It Award goes to Bravo. What a load of shovable crapola you put this crew through. Watching them work this hard was almost as painful as watching Ed cut his thumb.

First, no freight elevator for moving the tons of materials, appliances and furniture up to the 3rd and 6th floors. Bravo we have 1 word for you, used 3 times. Learn it, remember it, don't let it happen again. LOCATION. LOCATION. LOCATION.

You hand out a wad of money for each of the designers to use, assure them their lofts will be painted and the floors done... BEFORE construction begins. Then you cut corners in doing the floors. WTF!?!?!

More than once, you made our beloved Carl hold his head.

Top Design Recap: Season Finale Shocker!

2007-04-13T16:04:00.001-07:00

Posted by Eric3000

Wow! Who saw that coming?!

Oh, yeah; everyone.

Matt: "Was there ever any doubt?"

Unfortunately, no. It was pretty clear weeks ago who the judges wanted to win. Of, course, it didn't help that Margaret accidentally leaked that Elle Decor article about Matt winning. And I didn't buy her lame explanation about writing an article for each designer. [joking!]

But, I have to say that when I saw how much better Carisa's loft was I did have a tiny bit of doubt, thinking, "Maybe the judges will have no choice but to reward the best design, even thought they've already decided who the winner should be."

We start the episode with a clip of Matt telling us he's going to kill himself if he doesn't make it into the final two. Well, that's certainly a mature and professional attitude.

Then we play a little game of catchphrase:

Jonathan: "He's the mayor of excuses village."

Kelly: "I feel like I'm in an assisted living facility."

Margaret: "You can't just design a room around a cat."

Yep, those are classics.

Todd: "Designers, you will be designing a 1,700 square foot loft in one of the hottest areas of downtown Los Angeles."

What difference does it make that the lofts are in a hot area of town? We don't have to live there; we just care what the designers do to the inside, right?

Todd: "Santa Fe Lofts is paying us to say the building is in a hot part of town."

Oh, of course.

The lofts are identical. They laugh alike, they walk alike, At times they even talk alike; what a crazy pair of lofts.

The designers will have two months to plan the space and then five minutes to actually do the project. OK, they actually have five days for the project. But I still wonder why they have such a generous amount of time for planning and then have to rush like crazy at the end. They also have a generous budget: $12,500 plus $150,000 from the PDC and $25,000 in GE appliances.

Matt: "Well, I'm not used to such a small budget but I guess I'll just have to do my best."

Todd gives them envelopes containing their clients. They are designing for themselves:

Matt: "My client is me! I couldn't ask for a better client! I couldn't ask for a better designer, either! I am so in love with myself!"

They get to see the loft space.

Carisa: "Do you want to measure together?"

Matt: "No. you won't measure it as well as I will because I have so much more experience."

OK, it's two months later and the designers are back in Los Angeles, ready to start work. Todd tells them he's going to have their floors done while they are shopping. Carisa is getting black lacquer "hand carved" something-or-other floors. How can you tell they are hand carved? And how can you tell what kind of wood they are if they are covered in black lacquer? Matt just has his concrete floors painted black. I happen to like concrete floors but this is still a little surprising since Matt is usually all about the floors and this is a little boring. I also wonder if those floors are going to get messed up with all the work that's going to go on.

We get reacquainted with Ed and Carl. It's the Ed and Carl show! Oh, wait, no, it isn't. But they both work really hard and do a great job, with the assistance of some other carpenters.

The stupid freight elevator for the Santa Fe Lofts doesn't hold shit so they have to carry everything up the fire escape, which really sucks. We get a weird scene with Carl talking with two of his helpers and Carisa comes in:

Carisa: "What's going on?"

Carl: "They didn't know they were going to have to carry things up the fire escape."

Carisa: "This is bullshit!" [storms off]

Two Guys: "What the hell was that?"

Carl: "That was your boss."

Two Guys: "Oh. She seems like a real bitch."

Carl: "Yep. OK, let's get back to work."

Two Guys: "OK."

Seriously, what the hell was that scene about? Were the guys threatening to quit? Were they demanding more money? Were they just complaining for the hell of it? Anyway, they get all the stuff up to the lofts with only minor injuries: Ed shows up with his hand bandaged on the second day:

Matt: "What happened?"

Ed: "Oh, I lost my thumb in a freak elevator-call-button accident. Don't worry; I'll be fine."

Oh, that Ed; what are we going to do with him?

Unsurprisingly, all the construction work in the lofts completely fucks up the floors. Matt has to completely repaint his, causing me to wonder why they bothered painting them first or why they didn't cover them up during construction.

Carl and Sarah destroy Carisa's floor. The floor she loves so much and had been dreaming about having her whole life.

Sarah: "Oh, my god! Carisa's going to kill us! Carl, what are we going to do? Oh, no; here she comes! I'm scared!"

Carisa: "You ruined the floors? C'est la vie. You did a great job on those cubes!"

Sarah: "What have you done with the real Carisa?"

With one hour to go Todd makes an announcement:

Todd: "Models, this is also a competition for you! You'll get a spread in Elle magazine!"

Ed and Carl: "But we aren't models."

Todd: "Oh, I forgot. We got most of the carpenters from a modeling agency so I got confused. Well, we'll give you $10,000 then. How's that?"

Ed and Carl: "That's great. Of course it would have given us more motivation if you had told us that earlier."

Carisa: "I'm more interested in Carl getting that $10,000 so he can send his girls to the cheapest college on earth than I am in winning $100,000 for myself. That's just the kind of selfless person I am."

So, the finished lofts:

Matt really butchered his loft space. The point of a loft is to have a large, open space and he made it feel very cramped and narrow. I understand that he had to incorporate sleeping spaces for his family but I think he could have done it better. He could have put a bedroom in the corner, which would have left the central space more open and he could still have used a movable wall to open it up so you wouldn't lose the corner window views. Or he could have put a small bedroom right when you come in the front door, which would have created a hallway that would lead into the living room. I don't like how you have to walk around the living room furniture to get to the rest of the apartment. I just don't think he used the space very well.

Trudie Styler: "I don't think he has a grasp of architectural space, though he's a good decorator."

Matt: "What gives you the right to judge my space, Mrs. Sting?"

Trudie: "I'm the guest judge. That gives me the right to judge, you jackass."

His daughter's room is really cute. I think his bathroom is ugly. If Michael had painted a bathroom eggplant the judges would have ripped him a new one. But Matt did it so they like it. Trudie thinks the bathroom is sexy. She would totally have tantric sex with Sting in there. She wishes Matt had made his bedroom a little sexier:

Matt: "God, there's no pleasing that woman! I'm just going to be in the bedroom with my wife; why would I be thinking about sex?"

Well, the judges think his loft looks really expensive. He spent almost $200,000; it fucking better look expensive!

Carisa's loft looks really cool! As far as furnishings, I know it's subjective; I happen to share her aesthetic taste more than I do Matt's. But objectively, I think she used the loft space better. I wish she hadn't had to use the exact dining room set that Andrea used for her winning design but apparently the PDC only carries one dinette set and a ceramic pepper and that's it. No, but really, I'm sure there were lots of items that were reused in several of the challenges because they had a limited number of stores to shop in, but because it was Andrea's winning design it was pretty obvious. I didn't think her work space was very exciting, though it did seem pretty functional. her bed pit was totally groovy! I loved it!

Margaret: "I was really prepared to hate that bed pit. In fact, I tried really, really hard to hate it. I just couldn't; I don't know what has come over me."

Jonathan: "I could really get up to some mischief in that bed pit."

Margaret: "That's nasty, Jonathan! Hee hee!"

Matt wins.

Duh.

Carisa: "This is the best possible outcome. I'm pretty sure if Matt had lost he would have ended up as a trannie hooker on Santa Monica Blvd. but I'll be perfectly fine. I'm really happy for him. That's just the kind of caring nurturer that I am."

Matt: "If I had lost to a design student I would have robbed a bank and spent the rest of my life drinking in Mexico. Actually, I may do that anyway."

I Can Do That

2007-04-12T08:24:00.000-07:00

I wasn't overly impressed with the winning design...sorry Matt. They were equally interesting and equally "eh". Carisa losing is directly related to me I think. You know those magic tricks they have on tv and computers where they ask you to think of a number and them add and subtract and multiply and then they guess your number...bang! That's how I feel about most reality show competitions...the minute I pick who I think might win, the magic producers read my mind and make them lose....weird!

Anyway, since Matt's loft didn't have very may distinctive items...ahem...I thought I would choose pieces from both spaces that caught my eye...

CB2

I thought this was an interesting pop of color that didn't appear anywhere else in the space...besides his daughter's room

Hive

I think Carisa likes to be enveloped in things...this chair...the bed "nest"...

The Light Shop

Matt's sexy bathroom...is very feminine...?...

West Elm

Carisa's was not a useful mirror...but it was very chic. In the real world function usually needs to accompany form.

IKEA

I was excited to see something I actually own in the final designs last night. Obviously this one does go to the ceiling but it is a good room divider.

Art.com

I think collections of things add personal touches to a home...Matt's photographs brought his family into the space.

Pier1

While Matt's bedroom was lacking something...as Trudie Styler pointed out (and wouldn't she know about bedroom...um...stuff*wink*)...Carisa's had a physically challenging yet appealing space.

Pottery Barn

Both kitchens left little to be desired...a bit sterile. I think Matt could have been more creative with his canisters

Amazon

I don't know...they look more like targets for ping pongs to me...but...

And finally, just incase you have been admiring the edited snippets they've been showing all season...

Hive

So, congratulations veiwers. We made it through a very strange, and sometimes comical, reality show season. I'm not sure if I'll take odds on a Top Design 2 but if it comes...I guess I'll be here...trying "to do that".

And The Top Designer Is...

2007-04-11T20:09:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Matt. The Top Designer!!!

Carisa, you came a long way. You will go far honey!

A very special congratulations to Carpenter Ed.

We love you here at TDB and thank you for all your support

of our little blog.

We will be back with more to say here

and be sure to join us over on Bravissimo for Shear Genius.

Final Live Chat With BTD!

2007-04-11T20:00:00.000-07:00

You’re invited to the Top Design Party
Over at Blogging Top Design to discuss Episode 10!

Grab a seat and chat with the BTD folks
Phaolo, The Scarlett, Laura K, and TBone
as the show airs live tonight,
then come back here and tell us what you think of the new episode!

Click here to join the party!

Then come back and tell us what you think!

Who Will Be The Top Designer?

2007-04-11T04:22:00.000-07:00

12 designers, 10 challenges.

2 are left.

Who do you think will be the Top Designer?

Don't forget the premier of Shear Genius

tonight following Top Design.

Join us as we blog Shear Genius over on Bravissimo.

Preview Time

2007-04-09T05:08:00.000-07:00

One last time everyone.

Let's see what a 2 month break to prepare does for Matt and Carisa.

Click HERE to view the Bravo preview

and do not miss the shopping over on the Yahoo video. Click HERE

Taste Patrol

2007-04-08T05:00:00.000-07:00

Three Hula Man Bobble Award

This award goes to Carisa for the most exciting design of the week. My jaw dropped when Matt's unfinished room won.

I had not been liking Carisa's taste in decor all season. (Too many tschotsckes, Margaret was right.) Then it dawned on me (silly person that I am) that she's been channeling the unabashed gaudy, in-your-face sense of color and design of the 60's (this room) and 70's (previous rooms).

This room had zing and excitement.

But can anyone recall how awful the kitchens and shaggy rugs of the 70's looked? Rust-Avocado Green-Clementine Orange-Sunburst Yellow. Those were the predominant colors back then. Uggh. No wonder I had a visceral reaction to Carisa's early orange and green striped interiors. She should have won the competition, but I don't think that Margaret wanted this funky interior showcased in Elle Decor magazine.

Other designers have jumped onto the same visual bandwagon as Carisa. Witness these Thomas Paul pillows for Blue Flye...

...or the interior of the Continental Lounge in Rosslyn, Virginia.

Now view Carisa's own living room.

She's giddily happy with her own inspirations. No wonder Jonathan loves her style. Yet I feel that her design sensibility is destined to become tired and outdated in the blink of an eye ... as all trendy styles do. Let's hope that as Carisa matures, she broadens her design horizons.

"Admit it, you yap flappin' bitch, I had a hand in helping you achieve your vision. Now, move your bloomin' ARSE, deal with your trust issues, and let me finish this friggin' room!"

"Yeah, up yours, too, Carl. Whatever. Notice the title of this series is Top DESIGNER! Not Top Carpenter. Me, myself, and I intend to wallow in all the glory."

"So? The TD fans love me more!"

Two Hula Man Bobble Award

This award goes to Matt and Andrea.

To Matt, because he is the pater familias to this adoring and adorable child.

"My daddy's bona fide!"

"You're just a boy. Only a boy."

"He, he, he. I'm effin' 30 years old. What are you? 80? I'm also gonna win this show 'cause Margaret loves me."

Too bad Andrea didn't zero in on fabulous furniture shapes like this one by Jelly Bean Contemporary Furniture. Variations in shapes and textures would have jazzed up her bland room's quietly balanced but passive design.

There are no other categories this week, dahlings. The show is down to the final two. From the previews it looks like the designers will be asked to design real interiors, and I for one can't wait to see the results!

By Ms. Place

Top Design Recap, Episode 9: Cover Girls: or Todd's Angels

2007-04-07T09:00:00.000-07:00

By Eric 3000

Alas, it couldn't be "Cover Goil." It just wasn't meant to be. Well, at least Matt gets to be Farrah.

Todd Oldham: "Previously on Top Design: there was blood everywhere!"

Oh, for crying out loud, Todd, I had just gotten over that!

OK, there are three designers left and this season is almost over. Hooray! No, actually I've enjoyed the last few episodes; it's just the team challenges that I find unwatchable. What will happen next?

Andrea: "Well, Carisa shouldn't even be in the final three with Matt and me. Everything she does looks like it was done by the same designer. Boring! My spaces all look like some random person off the street just threw a bunch of crap into a room. I think that's what the judges are looking for."

Carisa: "Matt guessed that this challenge will be to create an elegant living room inspired by a cover of Elle Decor magazine. I don't know where he comes up with these stupid ideas."

Andrea: "Well, I just hope it's anything other than an elegant living room inspired by a cover of Elle Decor magazine because then Matt will be out of his element and he'll be eliminated."

Carisa: "Oh, you're terrible, Muriel!"

Todd: "OK, designers, you'll be creating elegant living rooms inspired by a cover of Elle Decor magazine!"

Carisa and Andrea: "Son of a bitch."

Todd: "You'll have to design elegance on a budget, however. You're only getting $7,500."

Matt: "Someone please kill me."

Todd: "That's cash, by the way."

Matt: "Oh, good. That will be so much easier to spend than $7,500 worth of gold bullion or GE stock certificates. But there is still no way I can do that. I am not a bargain shopper. I usually try to waste as much of my client's money as possible."

Now, I don't remember how much they get for supplies or if they get a separate fabric budget, but $7,500 is a lot of money in the real world. Sure, it wouldn't buy much at the PDC, but there are lots of places in Los Angeles where you can get a lot for a few thousand dollars. I would start at Wertz Bros. in Santa Monica, which sells used furniture. They also have a more expensive store on Lincoln Blvd. that is still pretty reasonable. Matt may be lucky enough to work with clients for whom money is no object but most clients will want as much as possible for the least amount of money so he's going to have to learn to be a bargain hunter at some point.

Matt: "Margaret is in the back of my head. I'm always thinking, 'What would Margaret Russel do?'"

Yeah, we should all walk a mile in Margaret's shoes.

Matt: "God, I wish! Her shoes are hawt!"

Last week we met Goil's sewing professional. [it took me a while to find that gender-neutral term. Wikipedia actually mentions "seamster" as the male version of seamstress but I don't think that's a real word and the term seamstress is a little old fashioned anyway. I don't think they are tailors because they aren't making clothes. I believe Todd actually refers to them as seamstresses in the first episode but I'm not sure] Anyway, this week we meet Matt's. You'll remember him from his last gig as a member of the Village People.

Ed will be back for the finale but Sarah is filling in for him while he recuperates from his accident:

Swift Boat Veterans for Truth: "He just scratched his finger so he could get out of combat duty. I know because I was there."

Whatever. Anyway, Matt seems to be having trouble with Sarah. Hey, Matt, read your script; complaining about the carpenters is Carisa's job. You'll just confuse the viewers, who are expecting one dimensional characters.

Fortunately Carisa is arguing with Carl, as usual:

Carisa: "OK, so we're using plaster. I'm going to get plastered later! Ha, ha!"

Carl: [just stares at her]

Carisa: "I'm getting plastered later. Get it, Carl? ... Carl? You're just the life of the party, aren't you, Carl?"

Carl continues to ignore her and starts making the faux-stone wall:

Carisa: "Carl, could you make the stones a little flatter?"

Carl: "I'm not making that kind of stone! You're thinking of slate but I'm making sandstone. I wish you would just believe that I know what I'm doing."

Carisa: "Who cares what kind of stone it is? This isn't a geology class! Please just make them flatter."

I almost made the title this week, "Carl Talks!" Are you as surprised as I am to learn that Carl can speak? I just assumed he was deaf and mute because he never responds to Carisa or listens to anything she says. This is almost as exciting as first hearing Garbo speak. That's right, my little Ninotchka's, maybe in the next episode we'll even hear him laugh:

Carl: "That's not going to happen."

And what was the deal with the fireplace? I don't understand what Carl was planning to make with that angled piece of wood. Well, the final result worked. I loved Carisa's room! I agree she could have done with fewer tschotchkes but, other than that, it was great! It definitely looked inspired by the picture but, other than the fact that it had a fireplace, it wasn't a copy. Carl did a great job with the wall (though you'll notice that the stones get flatter higher up on the wall, which looks better). Why didn't she win? Oh, yeah:

Margaret: "I've said it before and I'll say it again: America: it's a problem."

What?

Margaret: "Sorry, what I meant to say is that this room just isn't boring enough for the cover of Elle Decor."

Right. So which room is boring enough for the cover of Elle Decor? Well, that's a toss-up. Andrea's and Matt's rooms are both pretty dull. Which one is better? I can't decide.

I agree with the judges that the architectural details in Andrea's room are good. Although I'm not sure about the embroidered baseboards; I'm sure they looked better in person, but on television I thought they looked strange. Everything else in her room was completely forgettable.

Matt's room looks unfinished and I can't figure out what it has to do with his inspiration picture. In the picture there is basically a chaise and a bunch of black and white striped drapery fabric. The only thing his room has in common with the picture is the chaise. I understand he didn't want to copy the striped fabric but it seemed like he needed something to give the feeling of the picture. The room itself is OK. The floor, as usual, is beautiful. But a room needs more than a cool floor. And it doesn't even look like a living room to me. There is not much appropriate seating. The chaise together with those Rorschach-test paintings on the wall make me think of a psychiatrist's office. Anyway, Matt wins.

Jonathan: "Carisa and Andrea, could you please take a step forward?"

Carisa and Andrea: "Why?"

Jonathan: "How should I know? Just do it. Carisa, you're in. Andrea, Goodbye."

Carisa is in the finale! America shits itself!

Diva of the Week...

2007-04-06T11:11:00.000-07:00

There will not be a Diva of the Week.

Instead we have...
Carl wins the Carpenter of the Year award for putting up with Carisa's never ending bitching. How he has managed not to kill her yet is an amazing feat. He has the patience of a saint and the skills of a master craftsman. He has deserved his place in the Carpenters Hall of Fame.

(((MUAH)))

I Can Do That

2007-04-05T06:36:00.000-07:00

Matt can try to sell this design, but I’m not buying it. Maybe I have an aversion to khaki, but I just don’t see how this is the winning design. Not that I liked any of them really. I guess I was not following how this design was inspired by the cover of that magazine or how the seating arrangement worked to the benefit of a social setting like a living room. And it didn’t help that Matt kept complaining about having only $7,500 to decorate this room. If you can’t reel yourself in a bit to accommodate the requirements placed on you, how good are you at your job? Besides, it really alienated me as a viewer who decorated my living room for less than $3,000 that this was “impossible” to do well. He had been my choice for Top Design-er but now I think he’s a snooty “so-and-so” who needs to get knocked off his pedestal. So, in protest I’m only doing the parts of the room that I feel like doing...I quote myself when I say “If you want a beige rug...get a beige rug.”The chaise that he so oddly placed in the center of the seating area after ripping it to shreds and haphazardly reupholstering it was a beautiful piece with elegant lines. I found this one at QVC, believe it or not. While it is defiantly more elaborate it has a similar feel...and it’s already ivory.
The armless wingbacks are not easy to find since traditionally their purpose is to support the "sitter" and surround them with warmth which old homes didn't have. These leather chairs, from Wards have two advantages, they are a darker tone therefore removing some “blah” from the room and they’re two for the price of one...beat that, Mr. Money.
I return to my cheap roots for the accent chairs that sat by the...wait for it...yellowy-beige curtains. Target had these fabric ones that had the right touch of orange-beige that the room needed.

From what I could see the chest of drawers that sat lonely against the side wall had an inlaid top. This one from One Way Furniture was the only one I could find that had that style. It’s a little more gaudy with the inlay on the front too, but this room doesn’t have to worry about becoming Carisa’s room so I think it can handle the extra “oomph”.

The floor lamp is from Target, not much to say about that except I really liked how he stylishly pushed the cords under the bench the way he did. Sure Margaret, that would photograph well...(sense the sarcasim). The table lamp was interesting. I found this one at Lamps Plus. While architecturally eye catching, its defiantly more form than function.

I went to Art.com and picked myself out these three pieces. Cheap, simple...Matt, are you paying attention.

And last but not least, the eggs. At least they looked like eggs to me....little metallic, shiny eggs. Needless to say they weren’t easy to find. So, since I am a some what creative person, I changed direction to these. Found at Guild these little silver bud vases would provide an interesting focus for the otherwise pointless, aforementioned table lamp.

On a final note, where I might have blamed the judges in the past for odd decisions I really have to say they didn’t have much to choose from...kahki, khaki, or Carisa’s colorful combination of crazy clustered crap. Hmmm....tough choice....

The final two top designers

2007-04-04T20:40:00.000-07:00

Matt and Carisa

What do you think? Don't hold back. Give us your opinions. Were the viewers robbed, or did the right designers earn the two top slots?

Check Out Our New Blog!

2007-04-04T20:00:00.000-07:00

The Top Design Blogger team, with the fabulous addition of Lazarus West, is ready to discuss, dissect, and dish any and all reality t.v. offerings, particularly all things Bravo. Our first snark fodder? Shear Genius!

Click here to view our site, dahlings!

Live Chat

2007-04-04T15:15:00.000-07:00

You’re invited to the Top Design Party
Over at Blogging Top Design to discuss Episode 9!

Then come back and tell us what you think!

Who Is Going, Gone, Tonight

2007-04-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

Oh down to three... who will it be?!?!

Who is going home?

Who is going all the way?

If your favorite designer is no longer in the running. Tells us who they were and why they were your favorite.

Let's not forget the carpenters. Who is your favorite carpenter?

Video Time

2007-04-03T00:23:00.000-07:00

Three are left.

Check out the previews for episode 9 by clicking HERE for the Bravo preview.

Don't forget "Shopping in LA" by click HERE for the Yahoo preview.

Posted by Calady

Taste Patrol

2007-04-01T05:58:00.000-07:00

Three Hula Man Bobble Award

My top award goes to all our carpenters: To Ed for butchering his thumb in the quest for someone else’s glory.

To Carl for not betraying one single emotion as Carisa nagged him for three straight days in a row.
To Blair for quietly doing his damnedest to follow Andrea’s vague instructions.

And to Sarah, whose mobile expressions as she viewed Goil’s designs were priceless. She used my favorite diplomatic expression when Goil asked her what she thought of his wall: "It's definitely unique!"

Two Hula Man Bobble Award

Two hula men go to Todd for providing such humane and thoughtful advice to exiting designers. You can see them hang onto his every word as he tells them something positive about their talents, and then wish them luck as they pack up. Todd’s gentle, sane demeanor is growing on me, and I wish he’d been given a more substantive role in this series.

The Bobble Won’t Wobble Award

The Bobble won’t wobble goes to Carisa’s mouth. Zip it, girlfriend. Just shut your trap. Carl’s a saint. I’d kill to have such a patient, talented man working alongside me.

And, yes, many creative folks are a pain in the butt and I shouldn't be influenced by such a factor in deciding on whether I like your work or not, but I abhor stripes and checks, so I doubt I would ever hire you as my designer.

I’ve also been wondering where I’ve seen your walls before. Then, eureka! Here is Joanne Mattera's painting in all its boxy, striped and dripping glory.

The Trash It Award

The Trash It Award goes to Andrea. I found it interesting that you hated the earth theme. Your winning room the previous week reminded me of earth, from the subdued colors, to the textures of wood and stone, to the elemental gifts that earth provides us (sustenance and the raw materials that clothe and house us). You used those design elements quite effectively, but you were coveting Matt’s and Carisa’s themes so much that you blinded yourself to any creative possibilities. Frankly, your room was lackluster and quite trite in places (plugs of grass!!?)

and I truly thought it should have been your time to go.

Disclaimer: This show has had such a numbing effect on my poor nerves (Carisa’s nonsensical blathering had my brain shut down completely) that I’ve ms. placed my sense of humor. If you find my funny bone, please wrap it tenderly and return it via express mail. I do so love a handsome man in uniform knocking at my door.

by Ms. Place

Top Design Recap, episode 8: A Bucket of Blood

2007-03-31T09:00:00.000-07:00

Posted by Eric3000

OK, I think I'm going to be sick. Seriously. All the previews show a table-saw with blood on it and I'm just about to die. I'm not sure I can watch this episode because I'm so freaked out about the blood.

OH, MY GOD! I'M TOTALLY FREAKING OUT!

Sorry. But there are only two things that paralyze me with fear: cockroaches and blood. I don't know why.

Anyway, I'll just cover my eyes and try to describe what's going on from the audio. OK? Other Eric is in Mexico so he's no help. Let me know when it's safe to look. Thanks.

So we're down to the final four. I think I hear Matt and Goil talking about how this challenge could be really weird because it's a manageable number of designers. I'm not sure I get the logic there, but whatever.

Todd says they are at the Viceroy in Santa Monica, which was designed by our very own Kelly Wearstler. Ooh, I've never been there ... is it pretty? I open my eyes just long enough to see that the designers are talking to Zandra Rhodes. Oh, sorry; turns out it's Linda O'Keefe of Metropolitan Home. She's going to be the guest judge and she's telling the designers about boutique hotels.

Linda: "They're like hotels, only smaller."

Or something like that.

They will be designing hotel rooms. Now, you're thinking, "Oh, great; they'll be designing actual hotel rooms!" But no. They'll be creating stupid facsimiles of hotel rooms in the studio. Why? Why not let them into real rooms? I'm sure they could have found a hotel (obviously not one designed by Kelley Wearstler) that would be delighted to feature actual rooms from the show. It might cause a little inconvenience to other guests but hotels remodel all the time so I'm sure they could have done it. Of course, they wouldn't have been able to "memo out" $30,000 worth of furniture but so what? Bravo can afford to give away $120,000 worth of furniture. Oh, well; stuck in the studio again.

The designers pick elements. I think Zandra Rhodes is laying out taro cards or something. I can't really tell what's going on. Goil picks the death card. Oh, tough break.

Andrea picks earth:

Andrea: "Oh, boo hoo; earth is the worst element. I hate the earth. Recycling is for suckers. Global warming rocks!"

Goil picks fire:

Goil: "I'm a bowl of noodles kind of guy. I don't know what fire is. All I know is people tell me I'm flaming, whatever that means."

Why don't you go play with matches?

Matt picks water. God, that lucky bastard.

Carisa picks air:

Carisa: "I don't want to be literal so I'm going to suck all the air out of my room. It will be like the vacuum of space."

Well, I appreciate the desire not to be too literal, but that might be going a bit far.

The designers all create the same layout for their rooms:

Carisa: "Oh, my god! We're all putting beds in our rooms? This is a disaster!"

Everyone changes their room layout except Matt. Goil complains that this is unfair. Later, he complains that the other designers are not paying enough attention to him. He is so Jan Brady!

We actually meet Goil's seamstress. We kept hearing about seamstresses but I didn't think they really existed.

Then we finally get the answers to some of the weird pieces of preview editing. I understand that the previews are intentionally mysterious and vague but this one made it pretty clear that Carisa says something to Andrea and then Andrea tells her that it was a bitchy thing to say and then Carisa is shocked. You're wondering what Carisa said to Andrea, right? Turns out, nothing. What happened is Carisa jokingly told Matt his room looked like a nursery, mainly because that's exactly what it looked like. Matt then mentions this to Andrea, who then says to Matt that it was a bitchy thing for Carisa to say. Then, later, Andrea tells Carisa that her room looks a little "muted," though it doesn't, and this causes Carisa to say, "What?!" That was worth the wait, wasn't it?

Then the other piece of mysterious promo editing: Goil yelling "Oh, my god," with a picture of blood. Now, I was pretty sure it wasn't Goil who was bleeding because it seemed too much like that's what they wanted us to think. It's Matt's carpenter, Ed. Ed cuts his finger. Todd tells us it is pretty bad.

Oooooh ... I'm feeling a little woozy ...

What? What happened? Where am I? And why am I not wearing any underpants?

Turns out Ed is going to be fine. Who needs all their fingers, right? He's soon back at work with a bandaged hand. That Ed; he'll do anything for more camera time!

OK, well, now that that's over with I can open my eyes and look at the finished rooms:

Goil's room is apparently not finished, though I can't really tell. I know he was sliding the bed into place with only a few seconds to go so I don't know if he actually put the $3,000 sheets on it. Seriously, what was the point of the $3,000 sheets? You can't see them. Well, I guess that includes the bedspread but that still seems like a lot of money.

Goil really did have the worst element. As Margaret points out in one of the best lines of the episode, fire and hotel rooms is not something you normally want to put together. He really did spend too much time on that cushioned wall sculpture that went around the whole room. It was interesting but the room still wasn't that great. He tells us he was going with the softer side of fire and points out that metal is forged in fire, which I understand, and that fire gives life to wood, which I don't. I mean, I know there is a certain type of pine tree that can only germinate its seeds after a forest fire but, come on, that's a bit of a stretch.

I still liked his room more than Andrea's. I thought her room was a mess. There was no real couch, just an ugly bench, so it wouldn't be a very nice room to relax in. She put in fake windows, which I appreciate, but they were in places you wouldn't find them in a real hotel room. I think they were off-center and on two walls. I've never been in a hotel that had windows placed like that. Anyway, I think Andrea should have been out for this room but I think she was given a pass because of her past work and because Goil was already hanging by a thread.

Carisa puts the fake window in the right place. She covers one whole wall with curtains, which corresponds to the window placement of most hotel rooms. I really like her room. I don't love the fence in the middle of the space because I feel like it makes the room smaller, but I love the detailing on the side walls. It really gives the feeling of air vents without being too literal. This is the room I would want to spend time in.

But Matt wins it. I thought his room was very nice but it was a little too bleached out. I realize the walls were actually really light blue but the whole space looked too monochromatic to me. It could have used a little contrast. I'm sure it looked better in person; Margaret said she was mesmerized by the color so I was obviously missing something. And where was the water? Where's the Jacuzzi? Or why not a nice table-top fountain from Sharper Image?

Michael Adams: "This is a hotel room; not a bar mitzvah!"

You're right; I'm just kidding. But how about a glass of water? Can't I just get a glass of water? Is that too much to ask?

That room needed a color splash. Speaking of which, did anyone see that awful new show that they are advertising during Top Design? That HGTV show with "America's next design star," David Bromstad? Could there be a less necessary show? They should have called it, "We Promised Him a Show, So Here it Is." Yes, I'm partly to blame; I voted for him. We watched the first episode, where David excitedly tells us how great color is while he makes sexy poses and then he completely destroyed some couple's cool mid-century living room. When we saw the before picture of the room I asked, "You know what that room doesn't need?" Other Eric suggested, "A make-over?" Well, yes; but what it really didn't need was a color splash.

Diva Of The Week

2007-03-30T09:13:00.000-07:00

Carisa's ego wins this weeks Diva of the Week award. I mean, come on now, the woman has such an over inflated opinion of herself, it's a wonder she doesn't float away with how big her head is getting.

Need I say more?

I would also like to take this opportunity to award The Gold Hammer to carpenter Ed.

What a trouper. He got hurt and hauled off to the hospital, but still managed to come back and kick ass on Matt's room. You are da man!!!

Posted by TheHoInMo

I Can Do That

2007-03-29T07:51:00.000-07:00

Well, I thought that the designs last night were great. With the exception of Andrea, who couldn’t find an “earth tone” if it was...I don’t know...outside, everyone really captured the feel of their element. Let me just say this about Matt’s winning design: I loved looking at it, but if a bell boy walked me into it at a hotel I would honestly look at him and say “You don’t want me to stay here.” Not that it wasn’t one of the most beautiful set ups I’ve seen on the show, it’s just I would scratch those tables, spill something on the floor or seating area, and probably drool on the sheets in my sleep. But for those of you who don’t have children and keep your homes as immaculate as Colin Cowie does (If you didn’t see that episode of Oprah watch the repeats this summer for it...you will feel inadequate) here is the “Close but Cheaper” version for your home.

The mirrored side tables I found at JC Penny. They have a little more structure than Matt’s...but hey, a mirrored table is a mirrored table.

While we are on tables, the coffee table was not as easy as I thought it would be. I guess the world isn’t that into clear tables. Who knew? This one is at John Salibello and is the only thing I ever put in these posts that says “Please call” for price. So...The sofa comes from my “go to” furniture store Ikea. I’m sure if you actually visit a store you could find a black throw there as well.

These were actually the hardest to find this week. Surprising, since I feel like I have seen these chairs everywhere. This one is from Thomasville and can be ordered in an array of fabrics, from my understanding. Personally, I might have picked something a bit more comfortable looking. These remind me more of the chairs you sit in while being interviewed for a job...and who wants to be reminded of that while at a luxury suite or in your bedroom.

The lighting choices were great, but I took some liberties. The floor lamp is very similar, coming from Lamps Plus it has a slightly different shade but...who really cares? The table lamps were not an easy color combination to find and when I did find it, the base was usually black with a whote shade. So, during my searching I found this lamp at Crate and Barrel and I thought it brought more consistency to the flow of the room with it’s glass base. I have a theory that I hold to when choosing lamps for a room. Either the styles should all be flattering to each other or the shades should. If I’m wrong...oh well, not the first time.

The two accent pieces in the room that I focused on were the mirror and the glass bowl on the coffee table. If you want a beige rug...get a beige rug. I found the mirror at Horchow. This one has a bit more detail but I kind of like it better. I do find it amusing that something we used to look at a reminder of our “Brady Bunch” days, is now the “topest” of interior design. The bowl that Matt put in was ok, but if you are going to put something as a center piece to the room this one from Light Opera has a presence and demands a closer look.

So, there it is in all its glory. And if you do put a room of it’s magnitude in your home I would love to see it and I promise, if I visit, I’ll sleep on the pullout in the den.

Congratulations, Matt

2007-03-28T20:09:00.000-07:00

Ha, ha, ha, so glad you won!

Hee, hee, hee, I haven't seen that hairstyle since Mom and Dad dragged me to that Olan Mills photo shoot.

By Ms. Place

Goodbye, Goil

2007-03-28T20:00:00.000-07:00

You had me at, "Hello, my name is Goil as in gargoyle."

You never failed to surprise us with your rooms.

Or show us your emotions.

As far as we're concerned ...

Live Chat

2007-03-28T14:37:00.000-07:00

You’re invited to the Top Design Party
Over at Blogging Top Design to discuss Episode 8!

Then come back and tell us what you think!

Who's going next?

2007-03-28T04:26:00.000-07:00

Four are left standing - Matt, Andrea, Goil, and Carisa - and we're down to the home stretch.

Who do you think needs to go?

Who do you think WILL go home?

View the preview for tonight's episode here.

And don't forget to join Andy on Whatch What Happens, right after the show.

Puzzle

2007-03-27T23:00:00.000-07:00

Top Designers

Please note: This is a new puzzle. The other had a spelling mistake. My bad. - Ms.Place

Taste Patrol

2007-03-25T07:27:00.000-07:00

Ms. Place is the first person to celebrate our current interest in the Arts & Crafts movement. When I lived in the outskirts of Buffalo, I would frequent the Roycroft Galleries in East Aurora, looking for a few spectacular pieces of furniture to compliment our eclectic, refurbished 1920’s farm house.

In addition, new houses sporting Arts & Crafts features are populating our urban landscape these days, and I applaud this trend.

So my ears pricked up when I heard what this week’s challenge would be and the amount of time and money the designers had to spend. I expected a better show and got it.

On to this week’s awards! My criteria for handing them out is simple. I asked myself just this one question: "Would I want to stay and linger in this room over a glass of fine port and a cheese and fruit plate?"

Three Hula Man Bobble Award

Andrea was the clear winner. Not only would I have no problem lingering in this room, I’d probably pig out in it and chastise her for my widening waistline. How successful she was at melding Arts & Crafts with mid-20th century modern, I’ll leave to the experts.

It takes chutzpah to use white suede in a dining room, but I love her combination of rich wood detailing and slate textures, layers of cloth, shining crystal and silver, muted colors, and well placed, atmospheric lighting.
And, dahling, your snarkiness and self-confidence are starting to come through during your on-camera chats. Oh, how I love to see that spark of competition spiff up your otherwise sweet and quiet on set demeanor.
Your perfect white gloves are beginning to come off, and you are starting to outmuscle the competition. You go girl!

Two Hula Man Bobble Award

This week I salute Bravo, for bringing back Tom Coliccio, who infused vigor and charm into the guest judge’s spot and for ordering up a room I would definitely want to dine in. Bravo is also to be commended for creating an interesting, well-produced show.

Why did I give you only two bobbles? Because you’ve got to get these designers out of those bargain basement sets, Bravo! A room is not a room unless it has doors and windows and ceilings and architectural details, such as chair railings, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You’ve heard it all before, but thanks anyway for a great show. It is getting better and better.

The Bobble Won’t Wobble Award

Only one hula man goes to Matt. I’m not quite gushing over your room as some others have, though it clearly belongs to the top two choices. I asked myself, however, is this orange, brown, and black, windowless environment one in which I want to stay and linger and soak in the atmosphere over good conversation?

Not really. Yeah, I thought the leather floor tiles were kinda, sorta interesting, but I wonder how long they would last under heavy foot traffic. And the leaf placemats would be cool for a luau, but would they impress me if I spent $200 for dinner, which is what I imagine the price would be after all is said and done? Naw.

The Trash It Award

I had such a visceral reaction to Michael’s dining room, that I had a hard time reviewing the photos and deciding on what I liked least about it. Why do some decorators think that paint badly splashed across a series of canvases is preferable to a blank wall?

Those splashes of red reminded me of a cow’s blood spraying as it is being slaughtered, and I found these wall hangings extremely unappetizing in both a visual and literal sense.

You had $40,000 to play with: Why not spend 10% of your budget on real art? (Yeah, there are art students who paint fabulous original work for no sum of money at all!) Hurriedly putting something together cheapens the room and adds a resounding amateurish touch, one that added even more visual chaos to a discordant design. Sorry Michael, but it was indeed your time to go.

Disclaimer: While Ms. Place made playful references to Kelly’s hair in her other blog (click here) and on this one, she did not entirely dislike Kelly’s costumy look this week. I own a skirt very similar to the one she is wearing. Kudos to Kelly for always keeping us on the edge of our seats. Now, THAT takes talent.

By Ms. Place

Top Design Recap Episode 7: My Dinner with Andrea!

2007-03-23T12:10:00.000-07:00

By Eric3000

Diet Eric Three Thousand Recaps now read even more like original Eric Three Thousand Recaps! Please remember these recaps are a mix of fact and fantasy and most of the quotes are fake.

OK. Are you sitting down? Good. Because I have a couple of shocking announcements. Ready?

First: I actually thought this was a good episode. I enjoyed watching it. It made me want to possibly watch another episode. What's up with that, right? Why, after all this time would they make a good episode? I know it was mainly because it was an individual challenge and there were fewer designers so we actually got to see some designing but I was still surprised.

Second: I LOVED Kelly Wearstler's outfit! She is always trying to look as ridiculous as possible but she usually just ends up looking stupid and sloppy. This week's selection was off-the-charts insanity! She really hit one out of the park (I think that's a sports metaphor). When I first saw her sitting in the White Room I just laughed hysterically. Then I realized I wasn't laughing at her; I was actually laughing with her. The look was totally over the top but it looked intentionally dramatic, like a costume. It was something you would see in a campy stage production or in aesthetically beautiful but unrealistic period films like "Bram Stoker's Dracula" or "Blade Runner." Every time I saw Kelly's outfit it made me happy.

Kelly Wearstler by Dante Gabriel Rossetti.

She looked like a Japanese anime version of a cross between a 1940s film-noir actress and a Pre-Raphaelite painting. The puffy sleeves and out-of-control auburn hair were totally Pre-Raphaelite. I don't think that was the look she was going for but that's the association I made. It's actually a perfect look for this challenge because the Pre-Raphaelites were associated with the European Arts and Crafts movement in the late 19th century. Of course, the designers this week were thinking more about the American Arts and Crafts movement, which occurred later, in the early 20th century. But I still think it's a relevant connection. So I salute Kelley in her quest to look as silly as possible; it usually doesn't work, but when it does it's a masterpiece!

Anyway, sorry about the digression. Let's get to the challenge:

The remaining five designers get letters from Todd inviting them to brunch at Norman's on Sunset:

Goil: "What's 'brunch'?"

It's gay speak for "lunch."

Goil: "Oh, I'm really just a bowl and noodles kind of guy."

Yeah, we know. But you're gay so could you try and get with the program?

They are at Norman's. I had never heard of this restaurant. It was on Sunset Blvd. at the Millennium Plaza, a section of Sunset Blvd. I never visit even thought I used to drive through it every day; it looks like Rodeo Drive but more boring and less parking. In checking the Internet, Norman's has either closed down or its official name is "Norman's-Closed." It must have closed immediately after they shot this episode. That's sad. Anyway, Todd tells the designers they'll be creating a chef's dining room for a famous mystery chef, who would like the room to be luxurious and whose personal taste leans toward the Arts and Crafts movement, mid-century modern, and earth tones.

The designers all point out that Arts and Crafts is the opposite of mid-century modern. But, while the two styles are different, they actually have a lot in common. As I said, we are probably talking about the American school of the Arts and Crafts movement here, which was certainly intended to glorify craftsmanship, but also was associated with trying to spread the ideas of good design to a larger middle-class market. And, while mid-century modern did feature a lot of mass-produced items, it also included hand-crafted pieces and both styles promoted good design over pure decoration.

Andrea tells us she works in restaurant design so she can't go home this week. We assume this means she will be going home this week.

Matt tells us he doesn't want to go home:

Matt: "My daughter won't want me to come home unless I win."

Wow, his daughter sounds like a total bitch.

The windowless spaces they are designing actually make sense for this challenge because I think private dining rooms in restaurants are usually back rooms, often without windows.

So, they have $40,000 to spend on furniture at the PDC. Somehow, in all of the PDC Carisa can't find any chairs and has to go with patio furniture. This wouldn't be a problem except she uses really ugly fabric for the slipcovers.

Carisa complains constantly about her carpenter. Why is she the only one who has problems with her carpenters?

Carisa: "Put the $10,000 table over there, right under that beam my carpenter is putting up. Oh, my god; that beam is going to fall on my $10,000 table. Take that beam down; I don't want it falling on my $10,000 table. If you break my $10,000 table I'm going to be really upset. OK, I'm just going to slide my $10,000 table out of the way. Oh, my god! See! I told you it was going to break! I guess I moved my $10,000 table just in time!"

Hey Carisa, how much did that table cost?

Michael mixes up a bunch of different chairs and thinks it's really clever:

Who's a clever girl, then?

Michael: "I am!"

He also paints these weird abstract paintings in red paint because apparently red makes you hungry. Again, he thinks it's really clever:

Todd: "Are you sure those painting would make you hungry and not, for instance, make you think of a horrific bloody crime scene?"

Michael: "Yes, I'm sure. I think it's really clever."

Todd: "Well, OK then. I'm looking forward to the judging.

Goil is painting stripes on the wall:

Goil: "Oh, shit! The paint bled under the tape."

Todd: "Oh, I really like how you made it look like the paint bled under the tape."

Goil: "Yeah, isn't that cool? That was totally done on purpose."

The celebrity chef guest judge is Tom Colicchio from Top Chef. The judges wander around the dining rooms, taking the chairs for test drives. Margaret is really examining the merchandise, checking under Carisa's slipcovers. I was pretty sure she was about to tell that one chair to turn it's head and cough.

So, How do the final rooms look?

Michael's just doesn't look like much. You wonder where the $40,000 went. The chairs are cool but there are too many different types and there is nothing to pull the room together. I don't have a problem with the carpet, however, which the judges hate.

Goil's is just messy looking. There is too much going on and, again, I don't know where the $40,000 went. The chairs don't go with the room. The dead-plant chandelier is interesting but I find it kind of creepy.

Tom: "Can you explain the reasoning behind having so many different styles?

Goil: "Well, I was trying to make a room that would go with your food, with everything different and nothing going together."

Tom: "What? I think you're trying to say that the menus are created individually for each party?"

Goil: "No, I'm saying your food sucks."

Carisa's is not bad. It's a little plain but it's certainly more cohesive and comfortable than Michael's or Goil's. She runs out of time to set the table and blames this on her carpenter. Margaret complains that the banquette is too long but I think a banquette should extend the length of the wall. It makes more sense to say that maybe a private dining room shouldn't have a banquette in the first place. I thought someone would mention the fact that the person at the head of the table has to eat in the hole created by a knot in the tree. And, again, I don't know where the $40,000 went:

Carisa: "That's a $10,000 table!"

Will you shut up about the $10,000 table?! Where did the other $30,000 go? For patio furniture?

Matt's room is really beautiful. I love the sheer fabrics on the walls, I love the leather floor panels, I love the Arts and Crafts inspired silverware, and the chairs are very sleek and modern but have a little mid-century feel to them. I feel like he was able to bring together all the influences into one cohesive, luxurious room.

But the judges pick Andrea, who was supposed to lose because of her earlier comment about the importance of not being out on this challenge. I thought her room was beautiful and luxurious and the suede walls were a nice touch. But I didn't think there was anything different about it; it looked like a really nice dining room that you could already find in someone's house. And it looked %100 modern; I didn't get any feel of Arts and Crafts or mid-century in this room. Eric thinks I was being too literal in looking for those influences but I thought the designers were supposed to be making something for a specific client, not just a nice room.

The designers are asked whose would be their least favorite room in which to eat dinner. I thought this was a great question and that most of the designers answered honestly. I hate the question "Who do you think should go home?" In Top Chef, for instance, the question of who should go home always turned into the question, "Who do you hate the most?" or "Who do you find the most annoying?" or "Who can't stand Marcel?" and never had anything to do with the actual challenge. But this question didn't bother me at all, since it simply had to do with personal taste and could be answered without being nasty and also didn't have to specifically relate to who should lose.

And, in this case, it didn't. I agreed with the designers who said they wouldn't want to eat in Goil's room. But I also agreed with the judges that Goil's room was more interesting than Michael's and that Goil should stay. Michael didn't help his case, of course, by being a pain in the ass:

Michael: "I don't care if the chef wants more storage area in his dining room. I don't want napkins being kept in the dining room and that's all there is to it. And, although I've never had a problem with saying bad things about the other designers in the past when I wasn't even asked, now, when asked for my opinion, I'm suddenly going to act superior and refuse."

OK, time to get rid of Michael. I think he's very talented and he did some nice work, but he hasn't done anything outstanding and his attitude toward the judges is bad.

See you later, decorator. You know, there is nothing wrong with being a decorator. There is no reason that should be an insult. As Eric pointed out, Michael is really good at shopping; he knows how to pick nice pieces. Maybe he should concentrate on that skill.

Enjoy your bubble of splendor, Michael!

I Can Do That

2007-03-23T07:49:00.001-07:00

Most of us don’t need a “Chef’s room” anywhere in our lives but this week’s design can easily translate into a dining room, although many Americans don’t need those anymore either. And while I am an open minded person, I am also an avid lover of the Arts and Crafts movement. Needless to say many of these designers need to go back to Period Design 101. And even though most of this design wouldn’t fit into my house (since I have mission furniture)- once again maybe some of you are interested in bringing it into yours.

So, to get the disappointment’s out of the way let’s start with the side board. People, I looked everywhere for that side board. And unless you are going to buy the one from the PDC, which you might have to fight Tom Colicchio for since that was the selling point in the room for him, you are going to have to settle. I found this modern wood one from Crate and Barrel and I think is pretty decent and as close as we are going to get without having to buy three butcher block cutting board, stain them and put ‘em on some legs.

The other “failed quest” was for those white chairs with the cut-out in the back. So I shot for cheap. These are from your favorite cheap place and mine, Ikea. But I think I more than make up for the missing part of this design with my choice of dining table.

Andrea’s table was a traditional tressel table in a lovely black/brown finish. I took some liberties, but when I found this one I just couldn’t resist choosing it. Available from Stacks and Stacks, this table has the rich tone that Andrea’s had but also the geometric quality that added the manly touch for our manly chef, Tom.

This rug is from Add a Rug and shares the rich jewel tone of the one that was in the room. Not much more to say about that.

I loved the lamps that were on the shelves in the room, but I’m sure that they are way out of any budget I might have. Through writing this piece every week I have discovered that Target Online has one of the most varying and vast stock of lighting fixtures. This one has an obvious different base but shares the “presence” the other had in the room. And besides it’s name is Zen Reclining Table Lamp...can’t we all use a little zen in our life?

I really love Andrea’s choice of using table runner’s down each side instead of place mats, which most the time reads very “outdoor deck” eating to me. This runner is also from Target and while it’s not as sophisticated as her pattern was, it has similar qualities...aka it’s black and white. The dishes are white, so I will leave it to you to find the shape and size that works in your home. Same for the stemware. and flat ware.

Finally, the vases that were scattered around the room. Believe it or not, these were also impossible to find, although I swear I’ve thrown out so many plain white vases that came with arrangements from florists. But anyway, these frosted ones are from Modern Vase and Gifts. And while these are...eh...the website is great. If you are looking for a basic vase for a party or even for your house this site has it and for a decent price. I would bookmark this one.

Oh, and before I end this I would just like to show everyone what I found on Eurway website. Looks oddly familiar, huh? And while I’m not a huge Carisa fan, I am a huge fan of sticking it to snooty judges who have evil eyes, overly animated smiles, and are fashion impaired.

Posted by Damselfly

Diva Of The Week

2007-03-23T04:50:00.000-07:00

It’s time for the Diva of the Week Awards

but since I am filling in for TheHoInMo this week,

things will be slightly different.

is this week’s recipient of the Diva award.

Well, not Kelly so much as her hair.

It demands attention.

It will not be ignored.

I tune in each week just to see what disaster

Kelly will call fashion.

Here is a rare image of Kelly as a child, with a friend.

Well, this week, your hair went too far.

I think Jonathan even agrees with me.

Posted by Brillke

Kelly, Kelly, Kelly

2007-03-22T20:45:00.000-07:00

Kelly, dahling, your hair made my blogger friend Jinxy think of Louis XIVth, the Sun King.

I thought of Turn of the Century models dressed in leg o' mutton sleeves, also known as a gigot.

And of those 1980's Bridal gowns that every soap opera star wore way back when...

During Blogging Top Design's Live Pary, Linda Merrill from Surroundings mentioned that she was reminded of a barrister...

Don't look at me! I'm John Cleese and I'm PAID to look ridiculous.

Kelly, dahling, I love you. During the past seven episodes you have channeled the costumes of the entire history of the Western World, making yourself fodder for my snarkiness. I mean, if you meant to copy Stevie Nicks ... why didn't you mimic Nicole Kidman's style instead?

She was drop dead gorgeous even before she met Tom whatshisname.

By Ms. Place

Congrats/So Sad

2007-03-21T20:30:00.000-07:00

Mikey, we hardly knew ye. I can't say I loved your chef's table and the colors you chose, but dahling, you absolutely enlivened Top Design with your talent, feistiness, and charm. I'm so sorry that you didn't make it to the final four. We will miss you.

Congratulations, Andrea. As soon as I saw yours and Matt's room I knew one of you would win. Your white suede walls and your rich detailing won this challenge for you. I love the way you focused on the challenge and met it head on. Sorry to use an old photo from a previous episode, dahling, but the Bravo team didn't see fit to post one of you winning this challenge. (Photo Switched: She deserves to look proud and happy!)

Live Chat

2007-03-21T16:43:00.000-07:00

You’re invited to the Top Design Party
Over at Blogging Top Design to discuss Episode 7!

Don't forget! Tonight's guest judge is Tom Colicchio from Top Chef!

Even better, What What Happens with Andy Cohen will feature Laura Bennett.

How cool is that?

You can email questions or call into the show with questions.

Here's the email address: watchwhathappens@bravotv.com

Enjoy Everyone!!!

Who is going, going, gone tonight?

2007-03-21T04:44:00.000-07:00

We're down to five designers, and the gloves are off. How will Goil -friend fare? Will the team of Mikey and Carisa live to fight another day? Will Andrea stay above the fray? And will Matt's extra hour give him an edge? With Tom Colicchio making a guest appearance, I for one can't wait to see tonight's show.

Who's your fave? Who's gonna go? Inquiring minds want to know.

Submitted by Ms.Place

It's Video Time!!!

2007-03-20T15:32:00.000-07:00

Let's take a quick break from Top Design and Bravo to view the new trailer for... (drum roll)

" PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END"

Why?!?! Hello.... It is Captain Jack.

OMG!!! Can not wait. May 25th. Mark the date.

Click HERE to view the trailer.

:::Catching breath:::

OK, Back to Top Design. The preview videos for episode 7 are ready.

Click HERE for the Bravo clip and HERE for the Yahoo clip.

Come on Goil... we are cheering for you.

Don't forget.

Chef Tom, from Top Chef, is this week's judge.

We know what kind of judge he can be.

Come on you 5 designers...don't piss off the sexy Chef Tom.

It will not be pretty if you do. He will make more than Goil cry.

Posted by CaLady

Our Chat With Elizabeth and Heather.

2007-03-19T00:40:00.000-07:00

We had the opportunity to hear from both Elizabeth and Heather. Thanks ladies for taking the time to answer our fun questions. We appreciate getting to know both of you better.

Us: For us poor peasants that can’t afford the big name designs, where would you recommend that we shop at?
Elizabeth: nice store.... called EQ3, Canadian company...
Room Service is another for contemporary.....

Us: If you owned stock in this item, would buy, trade or sell? Why?
Elizabeth :
1. Lava Lamps
buy, everyone loves at least one in there life time
2. Marble counter tops
trade for trespa
3. Media rooms
sell, all rooms will be media rooms
4. Motorized window treatments
buy as long as it is an 'intelligent' fixture run by solar panels or wind
5. Doggie doors
buy, poop smells

Us: If you couldn’t be a designer, what would you be doing?
Elizabeth: marine biologist

Us:What is your favorite
Elizabeth :
Movie: today it is..... 'don't look now'
CD: The Duhks ' Your Daughters and your Sons'
Book: Ask and it is Given by Ester Hicks
Vacation Spot: Bora Bora
Guilty Pleasure: massage
TV Show: Studio 60

Us:Any embarrassing childhood stories you would like to share?
Elizabeth: nope

Us: Who do you admire/respect?
Elizabeth: Mary and Ron Hulnick

Us: What trend do you hope never comes back?
Elizabeth: pants that are worn bellow the bum

Us: For us poor peasants that can't afford the big name designs, where would you recommend that we shop at?

Heather: Hi poor peasant friend! Here’s my trick. I search high end furniture websites (my favorite is www.1stdibs.com) , print out my inspirations, then search cheapo websites for reasonable knockoffs. It does take time, but if you‘re reading this site, you must like design,,,,,I guess. It‘s actually really fun and if you don’t log into 1stdibs, you can’t see the prices that are both scary and depressing. For more modern tastes, try Minotti (www.minotti-la.com)or ConranHome (www.conran.com). Good cheapies are www.homedecorators.com and www.ballarddesigns.com. Never blow off West Elm, Pottery Barn etc. And even with Ikea, as long as everything isn’t from the same place, you’ll be ok. Lazy design is the worst and easiest mistake. ArmaniCasa can look lame if the entire room is ArmaniCasa. Basically never underestimate your own personal style with no cash or tons o cash.

Us:Have you ever designed anything that made you say, "What was I thinking?"

Heather: Ummmm, Hello. I think you all witnessed that moment for me.

Us: What one commonly used object would you like to trash or rip apart when you see it? What would you replace it with?

Heather: Ugg boots. Replace with ...anything but. Oh, object…. Wall to wall carpet Replace with…wood floors…I like concrete too..but still not an object… Ok..I’ve got it! Store bought tchochkies and bric-a-brac. Like hemlines, the home accessories market changes every season to make us consume with an eye for trends. Chose objects that emotionally engage you. Put down that little candle holder at the counter unless you love it or it reminds you of something you grew up with. Don’t have stuff around for stuff sake. Embrace your personality and invest in objects that support you.

Us: Seduction Scene: Woman seducing man

Heather: Caveat: Anywhere, who cares, available light, and who cares..it’s a dude, let’s not fool ourselves…but

Best place

Book Store

Best color

Black

Best light

Amber

Sit? Stand? Lie down? On what?

Hood of a car, a muscle car if possible

Us: Seduction Scene: Man seducing woman

Heather: Caveat: This really could go on forever…but Best place Museum

Best color :

Blue….as in the eyes

Best light

Candle

Sit? Stand? Lie down? On what?

All of the above, twice

Us: You enter a newly decorated room and the host and hostess are waiting expectantly for your verdict. You absolutely hate everything about it and in it. What's the fall back phrase you'll use?
Heather: Barbie! You look beautiful! Ken, doesn’t Barbie look amazing! You guys are so good for each other! Everyone loves to feel beautiful, so I shift the attention from the room to the person, decide to drink soda so I won’t get “honest” and excuse myself early. If I knew the couple well, I would be honest, but always find something positive to get excited about. Mostly I am positively excited I don’t have to live there, and that is the point. There truly is something out there for everyone and no reason to knock anyone’s taste.

Us: If you owned stock in this item, would you buy, trade, or sell? Why? (List of five items)
Heather:

1. Lava Lamps- Buy in 1965. Trade in 1974 for the Pet Rock.

2. Marble counter tops- Buy. Sell. Buy. Sell. Buy, but now buy in Chinese Marble instead of Italian. I am using Calcutta on every countertop on the project ( long term stay hotels) I am doing now (client must have…not mine) and we are buying all of it from China at half the price as Italy.

3. Media rooms- No idea. I do hotels, bars and restaurants for a reason.

4. Motorized window treatments- Buy buy buy buy…and add a timer. I want this for my apartment badly!

5. Doggie doors- Buy, for sentimental reasonsIf you couldn't be a designer, what would you be doing?Rock star/racecar driver

Us: What is your favorite…

Movie: Gone with the Wind and Heathers…It’s Sophie’s Choice between the two…please don’t make me choose

CD: Pleased to meet me: The Replacements

Book: Catcher in the Rye

Vacation Spot: Paris

Guilty Pleasure: Afternoon naps

TV Show: Friends (also a Guilty Pleasure)

Us: Any embarrassing childhood stories you would like to share?

Heather: I do a lot of stupid stuff I think is cool, therefore the only people embarrassed are those around me, for me. But you want specifics. Hmmmmm
Nope, I just think I’m funny. I hold my denial close and with much love.

Us: Who do you admire/respect?

Heather: Anyone with the grace to fight for their beliefs without alienating the opposition.

Us: What trend do you hope never comes back?

Heather: Shoulder pads Mauve

Us: Anything you would like to say to the readers?

Heather: Have fun always! Find the irony in pain. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

Taste Patrol

2007-03-18T04:17:00.000-07:00

Three Hula Man Bobble Award

Dahlings, as Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell will attest, there’s nothing more effective than a public spat to make people sit up and take notice. Young Michael and Carisa are not only unsheathing some impressive claws, but their subtext is truly Shakespearean. In fact, I enlisted the aid of my favorite Bard to reveal just what they were actually saying, punctuated by rolling eyes and heaving sighs and dramatic gestures. No doubt about it, their entertaining but immature side show deserved the top prize this week.

Thou vain common-kissing flap-dragon! Flap flap flap!

Thou gorbellied dizzy-eyed codpiece! One needeth a microscope to espy thine manly jewels.

We leak in your chimney!

Thou art so leaky that we must leave thee to thy sinking.

Were I like thee I'd throw away myself.

Most shallow man! Thou worms-meat in respect of a good piece of flesh indeed! [Thou hath] not so much brain as ear wax.

Thou jarring bat-fowling flax-wench! Take thee hie!

I will most humbly take my leave of you. You cannot, sir, take from me anything that I will not more willingly part withal. I never knew so young a body with so old a head. You are a hideous TOAD that hideth its paltry talent behind a furled tongue! It is thy clouded vision that prevents thee from bowing to my superior design skills. Confess, ye unctuous braying donkey, that I, a fair young maid, thought first and foremost to slake our clients' thirst upon a darkly painted bar!

[Thou] appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. So there, thou waspish wench. Take thy bossy ass and performeth that which is worthy of thy useless sex, such as DROPPING off the FACE of my MANLY EARTH. Poof! Begone you bragger of naught, I wish thee hie!

(GAWD, that felt good. Thanks for bearing with me, gentle readers. I feel so much lighter now that I’ve got Shakespeare off my bounteous chest!)

Two Hula Man Bobble Award

Goes to Mikey for comforting Goil. Mikey, you are a young Mr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in the making. You should take pride in receiving two prestigious awards this week; one for being a Bitch DIVA, and the other for comforting my Goil-friend.

I knew Goil was going over the deep end when he began to compare himself to Jan Brady, but you found your inner Marcia and gave him true sympathy. I cannot thank you enough for this tender moment.

The Bobble Won’t Wobble Award

Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Just when I thought you'd gotten your fashion sense back again, here you go and wear a Carmen Miranda impersonator's dress and pair it with Olivia Newton John's exercise leggings. My eyeballs can only take so many visual shocks.

I liked your hair, though, so your look was saved from the Trash It category.

Please, dahling, try channeling Audrey Hepburn next time (you have the looks and figure.) My sensitive eyeballs will thank you for it.

In case you think I've been ragging on Kelly too much, gentle readers, here's a link to Go Fug Yourself. Just go look for yourselves and you'll see that Ms. Place is always right.

The Trash It Award

Erik and Andrea, I would have forgiven you for ignoring Goil and upsetting him had you come up with a buffo design.

Your tent was merely ok, and that screen, er barrier, er contraption simply killed any interest I had in entering your space. People had to walk around it. I (along with most everyone) hate to be forced to walk in a single line and guess what’s around the corner.

Your ground-to-ceiling chandeliers were squat and lacked elegance, and those fuzzy red caterpillar flower arrangements looked amateurish. I found your loss quite surprising, as I assumed that your talented team would easily beat Mikey, Carisa, and Matt-colm In the Middle.

I hated to see Erik leave because he was one of my faves, but this time the judges were right as he took responsibility for the overall design.

Well, dahlings, the challenges are getting a tad better. I wish that this challenge had shown up earlier in the competition. My suggestion to the writers is to let our designtestants work on individual designs so that we can judge their work. With Erik gone, I am placing my bets on Matt.

As an aside, check out Ed Schoen's other site, resident actor, comedian, and carpenter.

Top Design Recap, Episode 6: Party Monsters: or My Goil likes to party all the time, party all the time, party all the ti-ime!

2007-03-17T09:00:00.000-07:00

Posted by Eric3000

Legal disclaimer: Eric Three Thousand is a registered trademark of Eric Three Thousand Omnimedia and I dare you to say otherwise (that’s right, I’m talking to you, Oprah)! The quotes and events you are about to read are mostly fake. For instance, Sir Elton John does not chase people around with a fork, threatening to eat them. Everyone knows he uses the sterling silver spork that was specially commissioned from the Gorham Silver Company and presented to him by the Queen.

Well, if the producers' goal was to pump up the drama to the point where I can't stand anyone on the show and don't care who wins, they've succeeded. The challenge, itself, was actually pretty good this week. Too bad I couldn't enjoy it because of all the fighting.

Anyway, the remaining jerks and doormats are split in to two teams of three to create a party tent for Bacardi Limon in the plaza of the Pacific Design Center:

Todd: “You’ll be working in the shadow of Sir Elton John and that’s a really big shadow.”

Sir Elton John: “I’d watch what you say, Todd. You look good enough to eat.”

Todd: “Oh, my god! He has a fork! Keep him away from me!”

The theme music to the Benny Hill Show plays while Sir Elton John chases Todd around the Plaza of the Pacific Design Center. The point Todd was trying to make is that the plaza is where Sir Elton John puts on his annual Oscar party.

The teams are Matt, Michael, and Carisa; and Andrea, Erik, and Goil. There are no team leaders. OK, we already hate team challenges but the format this week was even worse than usual. With nobody in charge it's just too easy for two people to gang up on the third to make sure that person is more vulnerable for elimination. That’s exactly what happened in this challenge.

Goil and Carisa both come up with major ideas for their respective projects. Then their teammates take those ideas, change them, shut Goil and Carisa out of the entire rest of the process, and take credit for everything. That’s how it went, in a nutshell.

The extended version goes like this: Goil comes up with the fantastic idea of gigantic chandeliers made of Bacardi bottles. Andrea and Erik love the idea and immediately get to work turning it to crap.

Andrea: “Just don’t let Goil anywhere near those chandeliers. They were his idea in the first place so we can’t let him be involved in making them!”

Erik: “I agree. If we let him work on them they’ll probably look good and then he’ll take credit for them.”

Even Goil’s supposed friend, Sarah the carpenter, got in on the act:

Goil: “The pieces of wood should go like this.”

Sarah: “That’s not what Andrea wanted. Why don’t you go ask Andrea’s permission before you go opening your mouth.”

Poor Goil. No wonder he was crying:

Goil: “Well, all day long I hear how great Andrea is at this or how wonderful Andrea did that! Andrea, Andrea, ANDREA!”

Later, Goil puts on an afro wig and makes a dramatic entrance at the party.

The scenario is not too much different for Carisa. She comes up with the basic concept of the big "square donut" shapes that are the main feature of the space. Michael and Matt just complain about everything she says and then they take credit for whole project:

Carisa: “So, I think we should have seating over here.”

Michael: “Well, I’m an expert on parties because I actually went to a party once, and I’m telling you people are not going to want to sit down. We shouldn’t waste our resources on seating.”

[Cut to the White Room, where Michael takes credit for all the seating.]

Matt and Michael just spend the whole challenge making fun of Carisa:

Michael: “Can you believe how dumb her ideas are?”

Matt: “Ew, I know! Girls are so gross, right? Ha ha!”

Carisa is listening in on Michael’s telephone call when he’s trying to order hookers for the party guests:

Peewee Herman: “Excuse me! I’m trying to use the phone!”

Oh, that wasn’t Peewee; that was Michael:

Michael: “Carisa, I was on a very professional phone call to gogo dancers and I don’t need you making little choking noises when I mention gold jewelry. Did you hear me? It wasn’t just a phone call; it was a VERY PROFESSIONAL phone call. I think your behavior was very unprofessional, listening in on my professional phone call.”

Carisa: “I get it; you were on a professional phone call. Would you like to discuss this for another hour or do you think we could get back to work now?”

Todd tells Carisa and Matt that their tables are looking a little “caskety.”

Matt: “Oh, yeah, I was just thinking that.”

Carisa: “Yeah, me too; I just didn’t want to say anything.”

Todd: “Ha ha! I’m just messing with you! I wanted to see if you would totally cave!”

Matt: “Oh, I knew that but I wanted to play along with your joke. You are so funny, Todd!”

Carisa: “Well, I think you are even funnier; I just didn’t want to say anything.”

Todd: "God, you two are morons."

Matt: "Wow, I was just thinking that we are total morons!"

Carisa: "Yeah, I was about to say that!"

Todd: “OK, shut up! But seriously, it looks like a casket. Change it.”

Now we get a little behind-the-scenes look:

Producers: “OK, everyone get out of the shot so we can have Goil trying to pick up a wall all by himself. It’ll be cute! Yeah, that’s good, Goil, but try to look a little more pathetic. OK, I really want to feel the emotion, here. And ... you’re struggling, you’re struggling, good, you’re so frustrated that you’re on the verge of tears, and ... you fall on your ass. Perfect! Next we’re going to drop a load of bricks on you. People will eat that up! You signed your medical release, right?”

Two things that don’t seem to be explained for this challenge are what kind of budget or rules they had for entertainment and what the hell food had to do with anything. I get the five senses thing but I don’t think the food was ever mentioned in the judging so what was the point? And why did Andrea and Erik give that responsibility to Goil, who apparently had never eaten food before?

On to the judging:

Carisa, Michael, and Matt’s team has played it too safe. The room looks good but it looks like a basic cocktail lounge. The judges think it’s a little boring and they hate the flowers, for some reason. The guest judge, Ben Bourgeois, thinks the flowers should have smelled. I like the designer’s idea of just having the smell of lemons. Margaret wanted to see the gogo dancers but she also loved the bouncer, especially when he frisked her for concealed weapons. The guests preferred this party and this team wins the challenge. Matt says he is responsible for the space and the judges believe him, though there is no real evidence to support his claim. He gets an extra hour on the next challenge.

Goil, Andrea, and Erik have lots of interesting ideas but the space is kind of a mess. The floor-mounted “chandeliers” are pretty cool but they are more like shelves than lighting fixtures. I’m sure they would have been cooler if they had just let Goil handle them. I understand that he tends to focus on details but he is really good with engineering and construction and if he says he can do something I believe him. The rest of the space looks too busy and haphazard. Margaret informs us that flowers are not supposed to be furry. Well, you learn something new every day. Jonathan tells us that a big part of designing is making your voice heard and says Goil should have forced his opinion on his teammates. I find this argument pretty lame. You can try to express your opinion but if you are outvoted by your two teammates, you eventually have to give in. He could have just yelled at them for two days so that they never finished the challenge but I don’t see how that would have been better. Sometimes, if you are working with jerks, you just have to stop fighting and get the job done. Neither the judges nor the guests loved the space. For some reason Erik says he is responsible for this mess and, again, the judges believe him without any real evidence to support his claim. Erik is sent home.

Time to party:

Jonathan: “Hey, guys, I have a fun way of saying ‘party’: it’s ‘par-tay!’ That’s how the brothers say it.”

Margaret: “Do you mean black people?”

Jonathan: “No; the Wachowski brothers.”

[This bit was stolen from a Stella routine]

Tune in next time when everyone refuses to answer a question! Ooh, that’s got me on the edge of my seat!

Diva Of The Week

2007-03-16T11:11:00.000-07:00

We have a tie for The Diva of the Week.
And they are none other than.........

These two are headed for a catfight and I want a front roll seat!

I can hardly wait until next Wednesday

because these two girls are bound to have the claws out and sharpened!
(((MUAH)))

Posted by TheHoInMo

T Shirt Winners

2007-03-16T00:35:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to

Janice O. - from Massachusetts

and

Gary D. - from Texas

They are the winners of a Top Design T-Shirt!!!!

Thanks to everyone who entered and a special thanks to carpenter Ed Schoen for taking time out of his busy schedule to select the winners for us. We love you Ed!!!

I Can Do That...

2007-03-14T21:17:00.000-07:00

Hey, he, hey, hey, it’s time to throw a party, Top Design style...or should I say Bacardi style with a garnish of Top Design. And while I think that both designs had interesting elements, I really believe the winning party was the one I would consider recreating in my back yard. Most of the elements can be rented from a party supplier and rental place in your area, which you can find by going to Party Pop and looking up your location...or you could call Carisa and Michael. But there are elements that you might need to buy elsewhere.

The liquor...well I don’t think you need my help finding that in your town. However, you can stop by the Bacardi web site and get some ideas about the drinks you can mix up with all the various flavors the company has to offer. Just be prepared to tell them your age...I didn't know you could card someone online.

You can go two ways with the tent. You can rent one and have it put up in your back yard. Or you can go the route I would choose and get yourself one of these very cool “sail” awnings for your backyard from Shade Sails. Very sheik and it doesn’t scream “WEDDING”. Besides, it also covers that yellow fabric panel hanging from the ceiling. What exactly was that?

The bar that Carisa claimed to design...I don’t know who designed it and I don’t care...is very bulky and not very good for a backyard party so as it seems I’m designing down I found this one for $99.99 at Brookstone. It has the color scheme without being intrusive. And it matches these...

...great bar table sets I found at BarStools & BarStools for $107.14. They aren’t exactly like the streamline ones the designers had but...what is and these are very chic. When you are done with your party you can tuck them in a corner of a room for a breakfast nook.

The mirrors are a good touch and a way to add “walls” to the tent that doesn’t have them. However, they aren’t cheap...what is anyway. I found this one at Ikea (where else!) .

And while we are at Ikea they have these coffee tables that could double as the benches that added the nice club feel to the room.

Add these small side tables I discovered at Just My Shopping, and the lounge area would really come to life. Ok, they aren’t the “coffin” tables that the winning team built but put a bowl of lemons on the shelf under the glass and you’ll have a similar feel. Come on people...work with me here.

The final touch of the cala lilies are your choice. I personally will sing the praises of silk flowers due to the fact that they made one less thing I had to worry about at my wedding and nobody believes they weren’t real. Cantalina Flowers has a great selection and you can get 12 stems for $71.40, which compared to the real thing is a decent price. But you do what works for you....

And on a final note....literaly...hop on over to 800dj and in three easy steps you can find one in your area that can help set that mood to your wishes. Because come on here Bacardi might have the money to hire a Top Design-er but who really wants to little girls having a verbal slap-fest in the middle of your chill evening. Wow, is anyone else having a prom flashback?

Posted by Damselfly

Erik...

2007-03-14T20:26:00.000-07:00

Dahling, booh, hoo, hoo! I cannot get over the shock. You are so classy, taking full credit for the losing design. You are so talented, but the room did suck overall. Sorry to see you latered, as I love you every which way and then some. This show was splendid. Yes, it was. So why did you not shine? (See below)

Oh, you beautiful, marvelous man ... not only are you gone, but so is Jared.

Booh, hoo, hooooooo! Drat, gosh, golly, darn, "F--K!!!!" Not only did we lose our Eye Candy, but we shall miss one of the most talented designers of the bunch.

Love you, dahling. We all wish you much success in your future. And, oh, you looked stunning sitting besides Tim Gunn during the live chat. Hope meeting him made up for your loss.

Matt ...

2007-03-14T20:02:00.000-07:00

... You gained an hour for your win, while we all lost one when we sprang forward! You are the magic man. Your vision and design won you the overall win. Congrats, dahling.

Great show. Lots of energy. Loved the bickering between Carisa and Mikey. Oh, you two, dahlings, you are so de trop!

Matt, you disappeared in the background during this challenge, letting Mikey and Carisa duke it out.. Good move. We look forward to seeing more of you!

Live Party With BTD

2007-03-14T15:37:00.001-07:00

You’re invited to the Top Design Party
Over at Blogging Top Design to discuss Episode 6!

Don't forget to catch Andy's post show,

"Watch What Happens" over on Bravo.com

Tonight's guest is Tim Gunn!

You can email questions or call

into the show with questions.

Enjoy Everyone!!!

Who's Going Next?

2007-03-14T09:43:00.000-07:00

We are down to 6.

Who is going next?

More important, who makes Goil cry?

Share your thoughts with others.

Some Final Giggles, Videos and BIG NEWS

2007-03-13T23:52:00.000-07:00

Before we move onto episode 6, some final giggles.

" I will so fucking burn your house down"

"Nobody has heard from Ryan

but his camera was found.

This is the last picture that was taken."

Need one last look at episode 5, Click HERE for the recap.

Click HERE for preview of episode 6.

BIG BRAVO NEWS!!!

This just in from " The Dish"on Bravo.com. Bravo has purchased the website. TelevisionWithoutPitty.com Click HERE and HERE to learn more.

Posted by Brillke

Their Prayers Were Answered...

2007-03-13T00:00:00.000-07:00

We did it! We saved the kittens.

Lets celebrate!

Um, I won't even comment on how this kitten

chose to celebrate.

Look away, pervs.

Kittens can come out of hiding.

Lets hope it isn't too late to save this poor sap.

Cats can now express their true feelings about Ryan.

So, feel free to drop your disguises.

Regain your dignity.

Everything will be ok.

Posted by Brillke

Taste Patrol

2007-03-11T05:09:00.000-07:00

Dahlings, I’m largely ignoring this week’s garage renovation challenge.

At first I was excited at the thought of our designtestants meeting a real life challenge in a real world setting that had doors, windows, and ceilings. But the more I think about the Bell family's silly requests, the less hopeful I feel about this show finally heading in the right direction.

Puhlease, folks, get real. A fumy, oily garage is no playground for children or a sleeping pen for dogs, and an outhouse is no place for a home office. Our designtestants thought the same thing.

We're *F--Kd* guys, but just keep smilin'

Three Hula Man Bobble Award

My three hula men began to bobble wildly when I chose Erik and Jared as this week's recipients of the prestigious TD Blogger award. My ultra sensitive HUNK thermometer shot up a thousand degrees the moment Erik chose Jared as his carpenter.

Yum, yum, yum! Ms. Place felt her juices flow like slow moving lava through her cholesterol clogged veins in anticipation of viewing these two fabulous specimens of manhood as they toiled half naked alongside each other.

And then…and then…? Bravo failed to deliver what it promised. We hardly saw the carpenters. Waaaah! I’m still recovering from this major let down and have yet to drag my depressed tongue off the floor.

Jared not making Goil-friend cry

Two Hula Man Bobble Award

Two Hula men go to Mikey for his superb timing. At just the divinely right t.v. moment, he stopped his inexplicable tirade against Carisa in order to pee. (Banana yellow in a grape colored urinal, no doubt.) It's a pretty sad indictment, isn't it folks, that I'm handing one of my valuable awards to a bathroom moment. But since the show is tanking, this was as fitting a metaphor as any.

Here's Mikey looking like Igor telling Carisa where to get off. Don't you just love theatre of the absurd?

The Bobble Won’t Wobble Award

Nothing about guest judge Mark Rios wobbles my bobbles. What a dork. You try "composing" trash in four hours, buster. Matt did an outstanding job of ORGANIZING, given the time constraints and the amount of family crapola he needed to paw through.

Where on earth did Bravo find this judge? When I turned to Mark's blog for clarification, I found that he had barely strung 250 intelligible words together. Even the assistant's blog was better, which is saying less than nothing.

The Trash It Award

If you're wondering who's responsible for this yawn of a show, look to the producers. In reading their early interviews, I found little similarity between their first optimistic statements and the final product.

"This highly anticipated new series puts the spotlight on interior design," said Frances Berwick, Executive Vice President, Programming and Production, Bravo. "Los Angeles is an exciting and colorful backdrop that will give our competing interior designers the chance to utilize all the city has to offer, while giving viewers a peek inside their creative and challenging world."

Utilize all the city has to offer? Let’s see. Pacific Design basement cubicles. Pier One. Target. Three square yards of roped off Malibu Beach. The Bell family's uber Disneyfied garage. And…?

We have an early-adopter audience, a crowd that likes the next thing," [Berwick] said. "We're going to lose people as quickly if we don't constantly innovate and rejuvenate. But that makes for the fun part of the job, too."

Gee, gosh, golly, Frances, hope you’re having tons of fun, 'cause we're not.

Scott Stone and Clay Newbill from Stone & Company serve as Executive Producers of the show. Scott was responsible for such non-Emmy worthy projects as Ivana Young Man for Oxygen; America's Ugliest…, for TLC; a The Mole for ABC; Popstars for The WB; Fame for NBC; The Man Show for Comedy Central, and Loveline for MTV.

We could go on and on, but I think you get the gist. Producing Shakespeare, or even good television, for that matter, ain’t one of Stone & Company’s passions. Plus they made the unforgiveable sin of hiring the assistant and putting him in charge of his own useless blog.

I end with a quote from Lauren Salznick, VP of programming,"Now our passionate viewers will be rewarded each week when they 'watch what happens' as the creativity and drama unfold through each pressure-filled design challenge."

Glad you think the show is pressure-filled Lauren. That makes at least one person. Anyone else?

Jonathan, Killer Bee Judge?

Disclaimer: In ordinary times and under ordinary circumstances, Ms. Place is known for her generous hearted spirit, good manners, and sweetness to puppies, helpless babies, little old ladies and designers alike. Her snarkiness and sarcasm have been diagnosed as the result of spending too many hours tossing her shoes at her t.v. screen in frustration as yet another goofy and senseless challenge unfolds on Top Design.

MSN TD

2007-03-11T05:00:00.000-07:00

Bravo must be in need because now they're looking to their web associates to promote their YAWNer. Here they have a slide show of the rooms to page through...if you haven't seen them enough.

And Here they have close-up of the contestants with witty quotes...ha!

If it's alot of the same...hey, we're just the messengers....Don't shoot!

Top Design Recap, Episode 5: All in the Family (garage): or You can't just design a room around a car!

2007-03-10T00:00:00.000-08:00

Posted by Eric3000

Legal disclaimer: Eric Three Thousand recaps are a mix of fact and fantasy and most of the quotes are fake, blah, blah, blah ...

Ugh. Just when you thought this show couldn't get any more annoying, say hello to the Bell family. The Bells have just flown in from Planet Clueless:

Bell Family: "We live in a forty thousand square foot mansion so obviously we want to spend all our time in the garage. We need a theater, a home office, storage for tons of garbage, room for our new GMC Aircraft Carrier, and we would be very disappointed if you didn't also put in an Olympic-size swimming pool."

Ryan: "Here's an idea: why don't you donate all that shit to charity and just park your fucking cars in the garage?"

Wow, I am so with Ryan on this one. If something doesn't fit inside your house, you do not need it! I can almost understand wanting a stage area for the girls to put on shows (although I bet it would fit in the family room) but I have a hard time believing there is no place in that house to put a small desk.

And why do the designers have to clean up all the crap these people have stuffed in their garage? That's just disgusting! As you can tell, I did not enjoy this episode. But let's get on with it:

First we find out that every member of the Bell family, including the dog, likes a different color. The designers are torn between making the garage look like a giant gay rainbow flag or going with the standard color palette of grape and banana.

Then Todd informs the designers that they will be working with models this week:

Carisa: "God, I hate models! They always complain when you try to make them wear a thong and they are so damn skinny it makes me sick!"

Todd: "Sorry, by models I mean maquettes."

Carisa: "Oh, that makes more sense."

The designers have to present their maquettes to the Bell family and the person who is chosen becomes the team leader and has immunity in this challenge. I have to say that this is the only thing I liked about this group challenge. Usually there is very little motivation for someone to want to be chosen as a team leader because they get blamed for everything so I thought this was an interesting way to do it. It actually made all the designers want to be picked as the leader. On the one hand, it doesn't give the leader much motivation to do a good job in the actual challenge but, on the other hand, the leader also has no motivation to have someone else screw up. It would have been good to have an additional reward for anyone, including the leader, who did the best job.

The designers present their ideas to the Bell family:

Ryan: "As I said, I think you should simplify your lives a little and get rid of some of that junk, which would give you a lot more space in the garage."

Bell Family: "Our revolting conspicuous consumption is part of the American way of life! If we don't keep buying and hoarding unnecessary consumer products then the terrorists have already won! This is the best way we know how to support the troops in Iraq, you freedom-hating communist freak!"

Michael talks so fast that his voice reaches frequencies only the dog can hear.

Bell Children: "Mommy, I think that's the gayest person we've ever met."

Mother: "I think you're right. Other than the time we met Tom Cruise, of course."

Children: "Oh, yeah. And also our priest."

[That was for you, Michael!]

Andrea has the winning design so she gets immunity and is the team leader for this challenge. Before we begin, the designers pick carpenters, though it will have absolutely nothing to do with this challenge. Why didn't they just wait until next week? Anyway, Carisa chooses first because she won last week. She chooses Carl, Andrea chooses Blair, Matt chooses Ed, Goil chooses Sarah, Michael chooses someone (I can't read my writing), and Erik is stuck with Jared. Are there only six people left? Wow.

So they get $5,100 dollars (that's an oddly specific amount) and one day. Andrea divides up the responsibilities pretty well. Everyone seems to be in charge of something: Goil helps in designing the architectural spaces, Matt is in charge of storage, Carisa is in charge of the office area, Erik and Michael are in charge of fabrics, and Ryan is in charge of painting. This probably would have worked fine if the designers didn't have to spend most of their time clearing out the garage and organizing the family's junk. Oh, yeah, and then there was this:

Bell Mother: "In your spare time, maybe you could redesign this four-square-foot shed and turn it into a beautiful, spacious office."

Andrea: "Well, I don't see why not. We have several hours for this project. Let me just redraw all the plans."

If the shed was part of the project, they should have been told that in the beginning! Anyway, since Carisa was in charge of the office space, it now means she is in charge of the shed. Since the office space seems to be one quarter of the project (stage, storage, parking, office) I don't see why one of the six designers shouldn't be focused on it. But, for some reason, everybody gives Carisa a hard time about the fact that she was working in a separate space and wasn't part of the team. If Andrea had wanted her to stop working on the office space and help in the garage, she should have said so. Other than Matt, nobody seems to mention to Carisa that she should be doing something other than her assigned task until they all complain about it afterward.

And then we get the charming scene with Matt and Michael giggling and joking about how fat Carisa is. Why don't those two just get a room.

Well, they finish and it's not very exciting but they gave the family everything they asked for and like I said, considering the fact that they had to spend most of the time cleaning, I think they did a good job. Everyone complains about Carisa but she did the job she was assigned to do. Michael picks out terrible colors, as usual, but he was probably given color swatches to work with so I don't know who's fault that is. While I don't like purple, a royal purple could have worked for a theater curtain (maybe even in velvet) but that subdued color he picked didn't quite work. According to the guest judge, Mark Rios, Matt organized but did not compose. Since nobody has any idea what the hell that means Matt is safe. Goil and Erik didn't do anything very inspiring but I think they did their jobs. Ryan seemed to be working really hard but he didn't add the artistic touch that should have been his main objective:

Margaret: "Yeah, Kelly! You're the one who is so in love with Ryan! Where was his 'big idea' this week?"

Kelly: "I got your big idea right here, Margaret!"

Margaret: "Oh, yeah? Bring it, bitch!"

Ryan: "I hate to break this up but I'd just like to say something. First, I'd like to apologize for saying such insulting things in previous challenges and then I'd like to say some even more insulting things."

Jonathan: "Go on."

Ryan: "I'm sorry for the things I said about interior design. However, I still think all designers are idiots and it's a pointless profession. I'd like to be an interior designer who just tells people they don't need an interior designer. I hope I've gotten my sociopolitical message out there."

Jonathan: "Wow. You've totally changed all of our lives. We're all going to give up designing and join the Peace Corps."

Ryan: "Really?"

Jonathan: "No, of course not. Goodbye. See you later, anti-decorator."

Diva Of The Week

2007-03-09T00:25:00.000-08:00

Carisa was pretty close to winning again,

but was beat out by the holier than thou attitude of....

Dude, just who do you think you are?
You went into the presentation with an

"I don't give a shit" attitude .
That was the first nail in your coffin.

You bitched and complained enough during the challenge

that you made Rosie look nice.

Well, maybe not, but you did bitch a lot.

Ohhhhhh, and let's not forget that you told the judges

that you wouldn't have taken this "commission",

that you would turn away from the money,

that it was a waste of your time? Big mistake!

And you must not have liked what has been said

about you on the blogs, because I noticed that you took

every single blogger that was on your friends list off.
Tsk, Tsk, didn't you like reading all the

wonderful things that were being

written about you?

Guess not.
(((MUAH)))

Posted by TheHoInMo

Last Day To Enter

2007-03-09T00:24:00.000-08:00

It's your lucky day and the final day to enter!!!!

That's right, we have 2 T-shirts to give away.

The TD designers each designed a T-shirt that are for sale over on Bravo.com.

Check them out!!!

So how can you win?

Easy!!!

Email Us - Your First Name, Last Initial and the State you live in. That's it!!!

The 2 winners will be selected by

Carpenter Ed

and announced next Wednesday.

Before you enter, remember you will need to provide an address, if you are the winner. This way we can mail the t- shirt to you. But do not send addresses now. We will contact you if you are the winner.

Good luck everyone.

I Can Do That...

2007-03-07T21:19:00.000-08:00

Well, I’m not one for over-haulin’ my garage and if I did I don’t think it would include a stage. I think kids are great...hell, I have one...but I’m not sure a permanent stage should be a part of anyone’s decor, except maybe J Alexander from America’s Next Top Model. My problem might be that I don’t watch enough design shows and don’t know that the garage is the new “media room” which was the new “family room” which used to be the “living room”...I could keep going. Honestly, the whole design looked very first-season-Trading-Spaces to me, but who am I to judge what gets someone going. So, since I am here to help you create the same thing in your home...I think I will start at....

..The Container Store. In fact, I would not be surprised if that is where they started. It has every bin, basket, and bobble that they used in their organizing. And if you by chance want to use a different color than all the primary colors of the rainbow...maybe something more neutral...it has them too. All the storage units range from $9.99 to $24.99.

The basic desk that Carisa put in the shed can also be found at The Container Store for anywhere between $180.00 and $224.00 depending on how much storage you want it to have.

Ok, let me say this...benches are not cheap. If you want benches for that stage that you are going to have to build you might want to save some wood and build them yourself. If not, you’ll have to go to Benches by the Bunches and pay something like $104.00 for something similar.

But the tiki hut?...is $69.98 at Century Novelty. I wonder if they did the tiki hut because the girls plays are always either about Girls-Gone-Wild at spring break or 40 somethings in the Bahamas trying to relive the spring breaks they missed in their youth. I wonder....

I think that Erik was attempting a roman shade in his praised window dressing. I found this beige roman blind at Ikea for $19.99 and if you add some black ribbons...voila!

Oh and you can check the car out at GMC. The MSRP is only $29,495 so I’m sure it will add the finishing touch to this lovely family retreat you’ve created in the least interesting room in your home, because come on, who actually does their living in their home anymore? You know who the real winner of that challenge was? The dad. He got the kids, wife, and dog out of the house for good!

Congratulations, Andrea

2007-03-07T21:06:00.000-08:00

You won immunity for your design. The challenge was IMPOSSIBLE, but you pretended it was achievable. The Bell family had so many conflicting desires for one room that it seemed a miracle to please them all.

Avery: "Aw, Mommy. There are too many people working on this project!"

Good move # 1: You chose Blair Toland as your carpenter. He knew how to take your orders.

Good move #2: You gave sound and fair advice before the judges made their decisions.

Even Mac, the family dog, approved of your win.

Good Bye, Ryan

2007-03-07T20:21:00.000-08:00

Real Tire Tracks

Ryan's tire tracks

Despite the the fact that he thought this was a goofy challenge,

even Ryan figured out why he's gone.

Good Bye, Ryan. We'll miss your passion and conviction. We WON't miss your arrogance, but we do thank you for the apology you gave sincerely tonight.

It's Live Party Time.

2007-03-07T20:00:00.000-08:00

You’re invited to the Top Design Party
Over at Blogging Top Design to discuss Episode 5!

Don't forget to catch Andy's post show,

"Watch What Happens" over on Bravo.com

Tonights guest is Padma from Top Chef and

the designer who is eliminated.

You can email questions or call

into the show with questions.

Enjoy Everyone!!!

Who's Going Next?

2007-03-07T00:00:00.000-08:00

Finally a New Episode.

7 Remaining Designers. Who's going next?

Share your thoughts with others?

Prize Time!!!!

2007-03-06T15:46:00.000-08:00

It's your lucky day!!!!

That's right, we have 2 T-shirts to give away.

The TD designers each designed a T-shirt that are for sale over on Bravo.com.

Check them out!!!

So how can you win?

Easy!!!

Email Us - Your First Name, Last Initial and the State you live in. That's it!!!

We are working on a special guest to draw the 2 winning names.

You have between today and this Friday March 9th to enter. The 2 winners will be announced next Wednesday.

Before you enter, remember you will need to provide an address, if you are the winner. This way we can mail the t- shirt to you. But do not send addresses now. We will contact you if you are the winner.

Oh what fun.

Good luck everyone.

Oh It Is A Week Of Carpenters. Yea!!!

2007-03-05T00:02:00.000-08:00

This weeks preview.

Remeber picking a carpenter was the prize for Episode 4 winner, Carisa. Who will she pick?

Want more, Bravo has their preview video HERE.

Garage Band !?!?! What will the mighty seven be doing this week?

Taste Patrol

2007-03-04T00:39:00.000-08:00

During this week’s hiatus of Top Design I decided to rate the judges’ blogs on the official Bravo site. After all, they take up over half the show with their walkabouts and nonsensical prattling. So I asked myself, "Do the judges’ blogs add to our understanding of the designs, or are their bullshit meters set at a level to deceive our unerring eyes?" Let’s see, shall we?

Three Hula Men Bobble Award

My Three Hula Men Bobble Award goes to Margaret. Though she comes off as a snooty Garden Clubber on the show, Margaret’s blog is actually thoughtful and informative. It turns out that even she is dismayed with how her more positive, insightful comments are cut out by the editors: "The worst is seeing how nearly every positive, constructive comment I make in the White Room never sees the light of day."

She also attempts to explain why Ryan, despite his negative attitude towards designing a "pretty room," survived and why Felicia was let go.

"It’s true. I wanted Ryan to go home, and not because he was belligerent (much more argumentative than what appears on the show and so was Michael; fortunately, most of that was cut). Ryan set the tone by wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with the numbers 666, the universal sign of the devil. His attitude matched the outfit, and although we didn’t know that he boasted, "I don’t care what the judges think; if I lose, f***k ‘em" until we saw this week’s show, in truth it was irrelevant. … Ryan was given a reprieve because he is inventive, creative, and ambitious; Kelly admired his iconoclasm and we all thought him capable of better work. I had trouble getting past his condescension toward the design profession and popular culture in general."

Bravo, Margaret. So did I.

Two Hula Men Bobble Award

The Two Hula Men Bobble Award goes to the guest judges. They add a refreshingly different insight to the previous week’s episode. The best guest judge thus far is Alexis Arquette, followed by second guest judge Liz Lange. However, it was Alexis who nailed the problem that Top Design has had from the start: "Overall, I was a little surprised with the lack of ingenuity I saw. To me, once something becomes repetitive, I understand that it becomes "classic" but it also becomes safe. And I was hoping that some of these people, even if they were students or up-and-comers ... I thought I’d see more innovation and a lot more original thinking."

Darling, Alexis. You took the words right out of my mouth.

The Bobble Won’t Wobble Award

Call me stupid when it comes to Kelly Wearstler, because, frankly, I don’t know what to think of the woman. Between her undeniable design talent, inappropriate fashion choices (having fun with fashion is one thing, looking ridiculous is another), and inconsistent blog statements, I have come to the sad conclusion that Kelly’s bobble simply won’t wobble. Here are some of her most quotable quotes in all their inconsistent glory, and uselessness in helping us to understand why the judges made the choices they did.

"Carisa’s wonderful use of color really wowed the judges & she ended up winning this week’s Top Design." Huh? She chose orange or red four challenges in a row! How creative is that? Oh, wait, during the cabana challenge Carisa changed things up, substituting blue for green.

"I prefer cabanas clean, contemporary, and ready & waiting for the day’s occupants. Today’s seasoned travelers expect every modern convenience: personal refrigerators, flat screen TVs, internet hookups, and the open space to spread out and spend an entire day escaping in glorious semi-privacy." Kelly, dahling, that was not the assignment our designtestants were given. I’m sure they would prefer the above conditions too, but on their limited budgets and given their ridiculous time constraints, they were lucky to put anything that looked halfway decent together.

"Design programs are not written in stone (which could be quite chic) and the vertiginous whims of a client are your marching orders. In addition to a fickle client, value engineering, material selection debacles, scope changes, time frame and fabrication, and even shifts in the global market can affect your job unexpectedly. This happens all the time, so get used to it." Huh? Say what? And how is this situation different from any other creative or business endeavor that depends on a client’s whims?

The Trash it Award

The Trash It Award goes to Jonathan. What a load of shovable crapola your blog is, Jonathan, ye of the happy visage, happy design philosophy, and oh so mean observations.

Where to start?

On the one hand you write, "Sometimes it's the things in questionable taste - inappropriate, vulgar, or a little kooky - that make a room memorable. Diana Vreeland once said, "A little bad taste is like a nice splash of paprika. No taste is what I'm against." And then you go and contradict yourself when talking about Mikey’s partridges, "I don't know what was up with them birds on the wall. Anybody got any ideas about that?" Read Trixie’s thoughtful critique, Jonathan. And Linda Merrill of Surroundings knows whereof she speaks. You might get a clue.

Also, it’s obvious that the younger generation’s color preferences are beyond you. Compared to the mud browns, rainy day grays, mustards, and other funereal color schemes our 20-somethings are into these days, Michael’s banana and mauve color scheme WAS joyfully happy.

Here’s your rather accurate assessment of Ryan’s recent design contribution. "Ryan's message was that he is an ARTIST, not merely a designer, and he was a wee bit snotty about fabrics and decor. Sorry, luv, last time I checked this was a reality television contest about one's ability to whomp up a room, not a MoMa retrospective. And thank God for that cause his spaces so far ain't too MoMa-able."

Given that both you and Margaret had similar negative reactions towards Ryan’s room, and that you are the lead judge, why didn’t your opinion reign over Kelly's?

Well, dear readers, this concludes my rather snarky assessment of the judges’ blogs. However, I have two more awards to hand out before I sign off.

The most Execrable Comments Award goes to Andy for writing this tasteless statement: "Another surprise guest who won't be on is Anna Nicole, who is presently decaying in Florida as her tale goes from sad to pathetic to I don't know how much lower it can go. And as it goes on and on, Larry Birkhead seems to be getting better looking and Virgie is starting to make sense." And he totally lost me with this inanity: "I actually am pleased that someone is interested in my dogs because I pretty much am not too into them."

Where's Waldo? Award. My favorite Top Design blog by far is Todd’s. His insights make me wish he had more of an onscreen presence. Right now he reminds me of Waldo. Where the heck is he? Let’s hope that in the future the editors include more footage of Todd giving the designers advice, and fewer shots of the judges marking up their evaluation sheets.

Well, dahlings, ta! See ya Wednesday night when our happy design gang will turn on Carisa en masse and pelt her with their rotten red/orange tomatoes.

Diva Of The Week.

2007-03-02T00:02:00.000-08:00

After receiving the following comment on my myspace page,

I had no choice but to award this weeks

Diva of the Week award to....

"I woke up this morning wanting to check my favorite blog

and nothing. No making fun of how gay gay gay I am.

No diva award. Nothing!! Make something up!!!

Tell everyone I had sex change and am now in

Branson playing Eliza Doolittle in the roller skating

disco version of My Fair Lady.

FOR GOD SAKE SOMETHING!!!!!"

OK, OK, don't get your panties in a wad girlie!

I was going to award the coveted diva cup to myself this week

because I threw a tantrum when I wasn't able to

watch a new episode On Wednesday night.
Bravo can be so cruel.

But I think that the lovely Michael deserves it more.
Here's a picture of Michael after his sex change operation.

Damn dude, you're hot!

(((MUAH)))

Posted by TheHoInMo

Poor Kitties

2007-03-02T00:01:00.000-08:00

"Aww, since there was no show last night 'you know who' couldn't be booted off so I guess another kitten had to die. I think this one was trying to download the show off of iTunes when he suddenly dropped dead. "
Laz

Yes Laz, I am afraid you are right. Ryan is still on the show and more kittens have died.

Some kittens fought back but it was too little, too late.

Some just became depressed.

This kitty was mad as hell and not going to take it anymore!

Bravo, please stop the madness.

Posted by Brillke

Carpenter Ed Schoen Stop By To Chat

2007-03-01T12:20:00.000-08:00

You asked for it... and we went asking. Carpenter Ed Schoen was sweet enough to stop by and chat with us.

Us: Tell us a bit about yourself.
ES: I moved to LA one year ago from St. Louis Missouri. I am here to break into the entertainment business. I have worked on homes for 20 yrs. If you were to strip your home down to nothing. I would be the best single person to have put it back together, that includes all aspects of the home. Carpentry is just one of many things I do well. I respect the goodness Ty Pennington has given to all those familys, but I would love to challenge him in a one on one dual to find out who is the best Jack of all trades. Yes I am calling him out, now that would be good TV. Back home I have 4 brothers Jerry, Ted, Jeff, Scott. One sister Kelly Marie who passed of breast cancer RIP. My mommy Elaine who works very hard. My late dad Gerald RIP. Nephew & niece's Stevie, Heather, Kelsey, Haley, and great niece Kelly. My friends and family are the most important thing on this earth.

Us: Who cleans up the mess after the designers leave for the night?
ES: I am not aware of who cleans up all the mess, I am catching up on much needed sleep during that time.

Us: What designer has been your favorite to work with and why?
ES:So far Erik is my favorite Designer to work with, he jumped right into it and knew exactly what he wanted. I worked with him on episode 2.

Us: What was the strangest thing you were asked to make?
ES: Up to this point the designers have not had me make anything strange.

Us:How did you get on the show?
ES: I got on the show through Casting Networks where I talked and meet with Patti Stone a wonderful person. I showed them pictures of my work and told them they would not find another more capable. There is a video interview out there somewhere.

Us: What other shows have you worked on?
ES: This is the first and only design show I have worked on so far. I would love to do more.

Us: What tools do you suggest a single woman absolutely keep in her girlie tool bucket? And why?
ES: Tools a women should always keep in their girlie tool buckets are an open mind, ambitiousness, and a warm heart.

Us: Did you get to have any interaction with the judges or Todd?
ES: We have not interacted with the judges up to this point, and I have seen Todd around he may have said hi or how is it going. I have this one track mind that keeps me focused on my work.

Us: What do you do for fun?
ES: For fun I do a live improv show at the LA Connection.com every saturday at 10:30pm I also enjoy meeting people of all types, that is always fun.

Us: How did you get into carpentry?
ES: I got into carpentry when I finally become tired of sleeping on the living room floor with my younger brother Scott. So with the money I earned from my paper delivery job I bought the lumber and build a room in the basement. Which is still intact today after 22yrs. Yes I was stupid at pretty much everything else but math. You have to know your strenght and weaknesses. I learned that at an early age.

Us: What are your favorite
Movie
ES: My favorite movie is Sixth Sense one of the first times I have been surprised.

TV Show
ES: Medium is a great show because I want to believe that we have more abilities. Oh and also Patricia Arquette is such a real character, she is an awesome actress.

Book
ES:The book that has probly single handedly help me on a personal level is How To Win Friends and Influence People.

Us: You live in LA now, which is better, White Castle or In and Out?
ES: In & out burgers have nothing on White Castles!

Us: Anything you would like to say to the readers?
ES: I want the readers to beware of all the contractors out there. Find one you know and trust. If you have questions on your home visit my website HomehelperEd.com and feel free to email me your questions. Have a wonderful new year.

Thanks for playing along Ed. Feel free to drop by the blog anytime.

Remember Ed was Ryan's carpenter in episode 4. We look forward to watching Ed in episodes to come.

Felicia Bushman Drop By To Chat.

2007-02-28T08:53:00.000-08:00

Us: For us poor peasants that can't afford the big name designs, where would you recommend that we shop at?

FB: I am impressed by the amount of products coming out of many retailers like crate & barrel or even target. The quality obviously suffers because you really do get what you pay for but until the time comes that you can afford a designer or at least designer items, these retailers have a lot to offer.

Us: Have you ever designed anything that made you say, "What was I thinking?"

FB: No. I even liked the afghan that the judges hated so much. That’s not to say I haven’t made mistakes, we all do, but I am the first one to fix them. In the real world I would never leave a project until my client was 100% satisfied!

Us: What one commonly used object would you like to trash or rip apart when you see it? What would you replace it with?
FB: Cheap throw pillows, they look like crap and feel like crap! Either find or make better ones or if you can't afford it then go without!

Us: You enter a newly decorated room and the host and hostess are waiting expectantly for your verdict. You absolutely hate everything about it and in it. What's the fall back phrase you'll use?
FB: I always look for something, anything even if it’s just one little thing that I can actually admire. I have a hard time lying, people can see right through me. So if it’s the workmanship of the painter or the stain color on the wood, something, then I will use that to expand upon. Bottom line is that if they love it then that is beautiful.

Us: If you owned stock in this item, would you buy, trade, or sell? Why?

1. Lava Lamps
FB: SELL! Ugly!

2. Marble counter tops
FB: BUY! Fab! But I would work on a better sealer to protect them!

3. Media rooms
FB: BUY! Entertainment will always be a money maker.

4. Motorized window treatments
FB: BUY! Especially necessary in our media rooms! Just hit the TV remote and close the shades, I love it!

5. Doggie doors
FB: SELL! Just not a product that I care about, I need to love the look, the design, I care too much about beauty and details.

Us: If you couldn't be a designer, what would you be doing?
FB: Definitely fashion design. I love working with fabrics, texture, pattern and color and I LOVE clothes!

Us: What is your favorite
Movie:
FB: Moulin Rouge

CD:
FB:U2

Book:
FB:A cookbook

Vacation Spot:
FB:Sydney

Guilty Pleasure:
FB:long hot bath on a busy day

TV Show:
FB:24

Us:Who do you admire/respect?
FB: So many people in my field! I really like the designs I see by Joe Naham, I am always inspired by his work and he is a dear person as well!

Us: What trend do you hope never comes back?

FB:Over developing, the whole “McMansion” era. It was quantity over quality and it just makes me cringe. I would rather have less and have it be great quality than have more cheap crap!

Us:Anything you would like to say to the readers?
FB: I cannot believe the amount of support I have received from people across the nation that I don’t even know. People have been so kind to take the time to tell me that they thought my work, my style, etc really shined on the show and that I shouldn’t have been eliminated. I can’t tell you how moved I am by this, truly touched and I thank all of you for reaching out. Please continue to visit my website feliciabushman.com as I will continue to add completed projects and hopefully soon a line of furnishings and accessories too! I really just want to say THANK YOU!

Us: Thanks for playing along and we wish you lots of luck.

Color Picker

2007-02-27T13:47:00.000-08:00

Want to play with a fabulous site about color, dahlings?

Click here to enter

Colr Pickr,

then scroll your mousie over the colors, click on one you like and see what happens.

You can lighten and darken the hue with the control on the right, moving the circle up or down

or choose another form of colr pickr below the color blossom.

The possibilities are endless.

By Ms.Place

Ah!!! The Carpenters. WE HAVE UPDATES!!!

2007-02-27T07:00:00.000-08:00

We have updates regarding the carpenters. Read below

NO NEW SHOW THIS WEEK!?!?!

What will we do?

I know, let's meet the carpenters.

When Todd first said, " here are the carpenters", I thought we were going to meet them all. Is this like Project Runway... with the models? Does a carpenter leave each week? Who are these talented professionals? Hell, they were the prize for this weeks winner. You think we would have met them all.

But we only met three of them and had to guess the rest.

We can see a carpenter next to Erik

but we think the other carpenter may have been Matt's.
It is the only time we see him during this episode.

Matt's carpenter is Cary Kirk.

Ah Sarah.

Carisa loved you at first, then asked you to build a dumb ass desk.

Then she dogged you at the end.

Hang in there Sarah.
Her full name is Sarah Miller

And then there is Jared.

OK everyone, take a deep breath.

Dude... Goil told you, you were wrong.

What is with these designers dogging their carpenters.

Ah... but let's flash back to episode 3.

Jared full name is Jared Dostie II...hmmm can we meet the first too?

Goil felt bad about what he said

and made you this sign of love . He presented it on

" Watch What Happens"

with Andy and Margaret.

Andy thinks it should be a t- shirt.

Yo Andy...when can we start ordering?

Blair, you hung in there with Felicia

and had nothing to do with the afghan.

Hope you were not asked to leave.

Full name Blair Toland

Ryan had his carpenter. Again no name.

We now know his name is Ed Schoen. Visit his website

Home Helper Ed.

He also does stand up. View Here

and also from his myspace... this one is a hoot.

Thanks Ed for writing to us.

But wonder if he knew Ryan was checking out his ass?

Michael had his carpenter. Again no name.

Michael, what was his name?

Michael's carpenter is Carl Mueller III

Andrea had hers and again we did not get a name for him.

Andrea's Carpenter is Sterling Milan.

Sterling has also worked on several episodes of Supernanny

Thanks for writing to us Sterling.

And who was this from episode 3?

We have learned this is Brian Morrell.

And now the 6 million dollar question.

Who cleans up this mess while the designers go get all pretty for the judges and the white room?

So many questions!!! We'll see if we can get answers.

So we have some answers and are thrilled to begin hearing from these talented people. We will continue to learn more about them and share with all of you.

So now it is your turn to leave comments about the carpenters and to vote for your favorite carpenter for this week.

Taste Patrol

2007-02-25T06:44:00.000-08:00

Three Hula Men Bobble Award

This award goes to Andrea and Carisa for surviving thus far. Warning! In a few more weeks the producers are changing the name of this show to Top Male Designer. In view of the judges blatant favoritism towards the men (Yes, you Ryan!), I suggest that you two gals change your attire and start tap dancing next time the judges prepare to name the winner.Two Hula Men Bobble Award

I took one look at Todd’s sugary muffins and coffee and instantly understood this week’s true plot twist!

Caffeine provides a jolt to the system and also subtly alters one’s brain chemistry. The cheap carbs that muffins provide instantly spike one’s insulin levels, leaving one at the mercy of sugar cravings all day.

In an intense competition, the introduction of these legal drugs will separate the weak from the strong, affecting our designtestants’ creativity. It is evident that our petite Felicia could not withstand this double drug assault.

Had she ingested one good square meal that morning, I’m sure we would have seen a different outcome.

The Bobble Won't Wobble Award

Felicia, dear, you didn’t just stumble, you fell headlong into the tasteless trap of the psychedelic 70’s. Former hippies must have descended from their mountain top commune and dragged everything out of their passive solar houses right into that garage sale.

Like a magnet you glommed onto everything that was awful about that decade: a faux Mies Van Der Rohe oak and leather chair that almost made your client retch, reams of old tie patterns, a glass orange and yellow bulbous lamp thingy, and, gulp, a hand crocheted afghan that screamed manmade fibers using colors not found in nature.
My eyeballs are still smarting from that eyesore. Here’s a man’s tie from that era. Why would anyone want to look at 50 replicas of these things on their wall?

I’m sad to see you go, because I saw so many elements in your room that would have worked if you hadn’t been sidetracked by those damned hippies and their tasteless baubles. Your client wanted Happy Chic, not Hippy Chic, and I blame Todd and his diabolical Hi Carb breakfast for your confused state. We can at least thank our lucky stars that this afghan was not for sale at the time your purchased the other.

Trash It Award

Oh, Ryan, you jokester! The fun was on us, wasn’t it? Fess up. After I studied your t-shirt for Top Design, I realized that you had revealed your contempt for traditional design concepts early on.

You were going full tilt for the Women in Prison theme, thinking you were keeping the joke to yourself. But Ms. Place wasn’t born yesterday. When she was an art student, she viewed a number of these art house movies. However, you got one vital element wrong, dahling. Every woman in a prison movie must go through the obligatory shower scene, and you forgot to install the stall.

At first I thought your room divider was really tasteless, then I realized that you had made an elaborate cat’s cradle.

Instead of a symmetrical creation, your wood bars looked like a web a spider on too much caffeine had made, such as in this research lab.

This is your brain on caffeine

In fact, viewing your room reminded me of poor Frodo entering Shelob’s Lair.

After being trapped for one day in that environment, your poor client would have been ready to join the women in Caged. You can’t fool another artist, dahling, we know crap when we see and hear it, and yours needs a bulldozer to shovel it out.

By Ms. Place

Who Is Your Favorite Carpenter?
	Blair
	Sarah
	Jared
	Matt's Carpenter
	Michael's Carpenter
	Erik's Carpenter
	Ryan's Carpenter
	Andrea's Carpenter

Free polls from Pollhost.com