Beggin'

Phone: Brrrinnggg!

Ms. Place: Hullo?

Ab Fab: Missy! It’s Eddy!

Ms. Place: Silence.

Ab Fab: From across the pond, Dahling.

Ms. Place: Eds! Mygod, it’s been ages! Since the 90’s at least. How’ve you been?

Ab Fab: Oh, you know how it is, Dahling.

Ms. Place: Don’t I ever. No rest for the weary.

Ab Fab: That’s why I’m calling, Dahling. Need another member on your team?

Ms. Place: TD Blogger? You can’t be hittin’ me up for a job, Eds. You’re Ab Fab! You set the standard for design shows and Tongue in Chic!

Ab Fab: Well, you see, it’s like this, Sweetie…I could use the publicity. Ab Fab’s not quite the thing it once was. You know how hard it is keeping your name in the limelight!

Ms. Place: Don’t I ever. But I hate to disappoint you, Dahling. We’re rather proud of our current TD Blogger team and we’re full up. Besides, I don’t know how you’d fit in, what with your 90’s design sensibilities and your penchant for chasing one fad after another. Then there’s the matter of your questionable taste.

Ab Fab: Wot! WOT!

Ms. Place: Sorry to be harsh, Dahling. Being gentle wouldn’t work. You’d never get the point.

Ab Fab: I’m not getting the point anyway, Dahling. Oh, drat! I'm crawling on my hands and knees, Sweetie. I’m positively begging. Haven’t you any crumbs you could throw my way?

Ms. Place: Well….

Ab Fab: Yesss!

Ms. Place: There’s another Bravo show.

Ab Fab: Do tell.

Ms. Place: Before you get your hopes up, Dahling; there’s absolutely no buzz about it. No watercooler gossip at work. Nothing. Nada. You’d have your work cut out for you.

Ab Fab: I’ll take it, Sweetie!

Ms. Place: You might not after I tell you what it is.

Ab Fab: Wot? Wot?

Ms. Place: The Real Housewives of Orange County.

Ab Fab: Housewives? Orange County? Where's that?

Ms. Place: California, Dahling. L.A. Land of the botoxed housewife. These gals still visit the Playboy Mansion for a fun night out.


Ab Fab: Wot? Me in a Playboy Mansion? Never! Oh, wait, Sweetie, wait. It’s coming back to me. You want me to dish THOSE tarts?

Ms. Place: You’d be perfect, Eds. You and Pats, and even Bubble. You're way superior to them. Hell, just about anybody is. Just think about it, Dahling. You won't be paid, mind you. None of us are. And it's lots of work. However, time’s running short to create a blog. The second season’s already begun.

Phone: Brrringgg!

Ab Fab: That's my cell, Sweetie, I’m expecting a call from Bubble. I'll do it, Dahling! My team and I are always ready to dis. We're tight as a drum, and all that rot. Ta, Dahling, gotta go!
Click here for conversation with Bubble.

Posted: Ms. Place