Final Taste Patrol

Note: Our wonderful Ms. Place is jetting around the globe and asked that we fill in for her this week. Miss you Ms. Place.


Three Hula Men Bobble Award

The Three Hula Men Bobble Award goes to Ed and Carl and their hard working teams. This would not have been much of a season without all the talent these individuals brought to each designer.



Week after week, they were the backbone of each of the finished rooms.

They faced demanding challenges,

time lines,

supply issues and diva designers.

They lost their cool at times and almost a thumb...

but hung in there for each episode. They gave their all long before they learned they might also win $10,000. They did it for the designers, not the money.

Two Hula Men Bobble Award

The Two Hula Men Bobble Award goes to both Matt and Carisa for the designs of each loft.

You both put heart and soul into those lofts ...

but did not sit on your ass and watch the crew do all the work.

You noted their talent and gave credit where credit was due.

Then gave up the diva role, and let them do what they needed to do.

Kudos to both of you for a job well done.

The Trash it Award

The Trash It Award goes to Bravo. What a load of shovable crapola you put this crew through. Watching them work this hard was almost as painful as watching Ed cut his thumb.

First, no freight elevator for moving the tons of materials, appliances and furniture up to the 3rd and 6th floors. Bravo we have 1 word for you, used 3 times. Learn it, remember it, don't let it happen again. LOCATION. LOCATION. LOCATION.

You hand out a wad of money for each of the designers to use, assure them their lofts will be painted and the floors done... BEFORE construction begins. Then you cut corners in doing the floors. WTF!?!?!

More than once, you made our beloved Carl hold his head.

Taste Patrol

Three Hula Man Bobble Award

This award goes to Carisa for the most exciting design of the week. My jaw dropped when Matt's unfinished room won.

I had not been liking Carisa's taste in decor all season. (Too many tschotsckes, Margaret was right.) Then it dawned on me (silly person that I am) that she's been channeling the unabashed gaudy, in-your-face sense of color and design of the 60's (this room) and 70's (previous rooms).

This room had zing and excitement.

But can anyone recall how awful the kitchens and shaggy rugs of the 70's looked? Rust-Avocado Green-Clementine Orange-Sunburst Yellow. Those were the predominant colors back then. Uggh. No wonder I had a visceral reaction to Carisa's early orange and green striped interiors. She should have won the competition, but I don't think that Margaret wanted this funky interior showcased in Elle Decor magazine.

Other designers have jumped onto the same visual bandwagon as Carisa. Witness these Thomas Paul pillows for Blue Flye...

...or the interior of the Continental Lounge in Rosslyn, Virginia.


Now view Carisa's own living room.

She's giddily happy with her own inspirations. No wonder Jonathan loves her style. Yet I feel that her design sensibility is destined to become tired and outdated in the blink of an eye ... as all trendy styles do. Let's hope that as Carisa matures, she broadens her design horizons.

"Admit it, you yap flappin' bitch, I had a hand in helping you achieve your vision. Now, move your bloomin' ARSE, deal with your trust issues, and let me finish this friggin' room!"

"Yeah, up yours, too, Carl. Whatever. Notice the title of this series is Top DESIGNER! Not Top Carpenter. Me, myself, and I intend to wallow in all the glory."

"So? The TD fans love me more!"

Two Hula Man Bobble Award

This award goes to Matt and Andrea.

To Matt, because he is the pater familias to this adoring and adorable child.

"My daddy's bona fide!"

"You're just a boy. Only a boy."

"He, he, he. I'm effin' 30 years old. What are you? 80? I'm also gonna win this show 'cause Margaret loves me."

Too bad Andrea didn't zero in on fabulous furniture shapes like this one by Jelly Bean Contemporary Furniture. Variations in shapes and textures would have jazzed up her bland room's quietly balanced but passive design.




There are no other categories this week, dahlings. The show is down to the final two. From the previews it looks like the designers will be asked to design real interiors, and I for one can't wait to see the results!

By Ms. Place

Taste Patrol

Three Hula Man Bobble Award

My top award goes to all our carpenters: To Ed for butchering his thumb in the quest for someone else’s glory.

To Carl for not betraying one single emotion as Carisa nagged him for three straight days in a row.
To Blair for quietly doing his damnedest to follow Andrea’s vague instructions.

And to Sarah, whose mobile expressions as she viewed Goil’s designs were priceless. She used my favorite diplomatic expression when Goil asked her what she thought of his wall: "It's definitely unique!"

Two Hula Man Bobble Award

Two hula men go to Todd for providing such humane and thoughtful advice to exiting designers. You can see them hang onto his every word as he tells them something positive about their talents, and then wish them luck as they pack up. Todd’s gentle, sane demeanor is growing on me, and I wish he’d been given a more substantive role in this series.

The Bobble Won’t Wobble Award

The Bobble won’t wobble goes to Carisa’s mouth. Zip it, girlfriend. Just shut your trap. Carl’s a saint. I’d kill to have such a patient, talented man working alongside me.

And, yes, many creative folks are a pain in the butt and I shouldn't be influenced by such a factor in deciding on whether I like your work or not, but I abhor stripes and checks, so I doubt I would ever hire you as my designer.

I’ve also been wondering where I’ve seen your walls before. Then, eureka! Here is Joanne Mattera's painting in all its boxy, striped and dripping glory.

The Trash It Award

The Trash It Award goes to Andrea. I found it interesting that you hated the earth theme. Your winning room the previous week reminded me of earth, from the subdued colors, to the textures of wood and stone, to the elemental gifts that earth provides us (sustenance and the raw materials that clothe and house us). You used those design elements quite effectively, but you were coveting Matt’s and Carisa’s themes so much that you blinded yourself to any creative possibilities. Frankly, your room was lackluster and quite trite in places (plugs of grass!!?)

and I truly thought it should have been your time to go.

Disclaimer: This show has had such a numbing effect on my poor nerves (Carisa’s nonsensical blathering had my brain shut down completely) that I’ve ms. placed my sense of humor. If you find my funny bone, please wrap it tenderly and return it via express mail. I do so love a handsome man in uniform knocking at my door.

by Ms. Place

Taste Patrol

Ms. Place is the first person to celebrate our current interest in the Arts & Crafts movement. When I lived in the outskirts of Buffalo, I would frequent the Roycroft Galleries in East Aurora, looking for a few spectacular pieces of furniture to compliment our eclectic, refurbished 1920’s farm house.

In addition, new houses sporting Arts & Crafts features are populating our urban landscape these days, and I applaud this trend.

So my ears pricked up when I heard what this week’s challenge would be and the amount of time and money the designers had to spend. I expected a better show and got it.

On to this week’s awards! My criteria for handing them out is simple. I asked myself just this one question: "Would I want to stay and linger in this room over a glass of fine port and a cheese and fruit plate?"

Three Hula Man Bobble Award

Andrea was the clear winner. Not only would I have no problem lingering in this room, I’d probably pig out in it and chastise her for my widening waistline. How successful she was at melding Arts & Crafts with mid-20th century modern, I’ll leave to the experts.

It takes chutzpah to use white suede in a dining room, but I love her combination of rich wood detailing and slate textures, layers of cloth, shining crystal and silver, muted colors, and well placed, atmospheric lighting.
And, dahling, your snarkiness and self-confidence are starting to come through during your on-camera chats. Oh, how I love to see that spark of competition spiff up your otherwise sweet and quiet on set demeanor.
Your perfect white gloves are beginning to come off, and you are starting to outmuscle the competition. You go girl!

Two Hula Man Bobble Award

This week I salute Bravo, for bringing back Tom Coliccio, who infused vigor and charm into the guest judge’s spot and for ordering up a room I would definitely want to dine in. Bravo is also to be commended for creating an interesting, well-produced show.

Why did I give you only two bobbles? Because you’ve got to get these designers out of those bargain basement sets, Bravo! A room is not a room unless it has doors and windows and ceilings and architectural details, such as chair railings, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You’ve heard it all before, but thanks anyway for a great show. It is getting better and better.

The Bobble Won’t Wobble Award

Only one hula man goes to Matt. I’m not quite gushing over your room as some others have, though it clearly belongs to the top two choices. I asked myself, however, is this orange, brown, and black, windowless environment one in which I want to stay and linger and soak in the atmosphere over good conversation?

Not really. Yeah, I thought the leather floor tiles were kinda, sorta interesting, but I wonder how long they would last under heavy foot traffic. And the leaf placemats would be cool for a luau, but would they impress me if I spent $200 for dinner, which is what I imagine the price would be after all is said and done? Naw.

The Trash It Award


I had such a visceral reaction to Michael’s dining room, that I had a hard time reviewing the photos and deciding on what I liked least about it. Why do some decorators think that paint badly splashed across a series of canvases is preferable to a blank wall?

Those splashes of red reminded me of a cow’s blood spraying as it is being slaughtered, and I found these wall hangings extremely unappetizing in both a visual and literal sense.

You had $40,000 to play with: Why not spend 10% of your budget on real art? (Yeah, there are art students who paint fabulous original work for no sum of money at all!) Hurriedly putting something together cheapens the room and adds a resounding amateurish touch, one that added even more visual chaos to a discordant design. Sorry Michael, but it was indeed your time to go.

Disclaimer: While Ms. Place made playful references to Kelly’s hair in her other blog (click here) and on this one, she did not entirely dislike Kelly’s costumy look this week. I own a skirt very similar to the one she is wearing. Kudos to Kelly for always keeping us on the edge of our seats. Now, THAT takes talent.

By Ms. Place