• Friday, March 23, 2007

    Top Design Recap Episode 7: My Dinner with Andrea!

    By Eric3000

    Diet Eric Three Thousand Recaps now read even more like original Eric Three Thousand Recaps! Please remember these recaps are a mix of fact and fantasy and most of the quotes are fake.

    OK. Are you sitting down? Good. Because I have a couple of shocking announcements. Ready?

    First: I actually thought this was a good episode. I enjoyed watching it. It made me want to possibly watch another episode. What's up with that, right? Why, after all this time would they make a good episode? I know it was mainly because it was an individual challenge and there were fewer designers so we actually got to see some designing but I was still surprised.

    Second: I LOVED Kelly Wearstler's outfit! She is always trying to look as ridiculous as possible but she usually just ends up looking stupid and sloppy. This week's selection was off-the-charts insanity! She really hit one out of the park (I think that's a sports metaphor). When I first saw her sitting in the White Room I just laughed hysterically. Then I realized I wasn't laughing at her; I was actually laughing with her. The look was totally over the top but it looked intentionally dramatic, like a costume. It was something you would see in a campy stage production or in aesthetically beautiful but unrealistic period films like "Bram Stoker's Dracula" or "Blade Runner." Every time I saw Kelly's outfit it made me happy.

    Kelly Wearstler by Dante Gabriel Rossetti.

    She looked like a Japanese anime version of a cross between a 1940s film-noir actress and a Pre-Raphaelite painting. The puffy sleeves and out-of-control auburn hair were totally Pre-Raphaelite. I don't think that was the look she was going for but that's the association I made. It's actually a perfect look for this challenge because the Pre-Raphaelites were associated with the European Arts and Crafts movement in the late 19th century. Of course, the designers this week were thinking more about the American Arts and Crafts movement, which occurred later, in the early 20th century. But I still think it's a relevant connection. So I salute Kelley in her quest to look as silly as possible; it usually doesn't work, but when it does it's a masterpiece!

    Anyway, sorry about the digression. Let's get to the challenge:

    The remaining five designers get letters from Todd inviting them to brunch at Norman's on Sunset:

    Goil: "What's 'brunch'?"

    It's gay speak for "lunch."

    Goil: "Oh, I'm really just a bowl and noodles kind of guy."

    Yeah, we know. But you're gay so could you try and get with the program?

    They are at Norman's. I had never heard of this restaurant. It was on Sunset Blvd. at the Millennium Plaza, a section of Sunset Blvd. I never visit even thought I used to drive through it every day; it looks like Rodeo Drive but more boring and less parking. In checking the Internet, Norman's has either closed down or its official name is "Norman's-Closed." It must have closed immediately after they shot this episode. That's sad. Anyway, Todd tells the designers they'll be creating a chef's dining room for a famous mystery chef, who would like the room to be luxurious and whose personal taste leans toward the Arts and Crafts movement, mid-century modern, and earth tones.

    The designers all point out that Arts and Crafts is the opposite of mid-century modern. But, while the two styles are different, they actually have a lot in common. As I said, we are probably talking about the American school of the Arts and Crafts movement here, which was certainly intended to glorify craftsmanship, but also was associated with trying to spread the ideas of good design to a larger middle-class market. And, while mid-century modern did feature a lot of mass-produced items, it also included hand-crafted pieces and both styles promoted good design over pure decoration.

    Andrea tells us she works in restaurant design so she can't go home this week. We assume this means she will be going home this week.

    Matt tells us he doesn't want to go home:

    Matt: "My daughter won't want me to come home unless I win."

    Wow, his daughter sounds like a total bitch.

    The windowless spaces they are designing actually make sense for this challenge because I think private dining rooms in restaurants are usually back rooms, often without windows.

    So, they have $40,000 to spend on furniture at the PDC. Somehow, in all of the PDC Carisa can't find any chairs and has to go with patio furniture. This wouldn't be a problem except she uses really ugly fabric for the slipcovers.

    Carisa complains constantly about her carpenter. Why is she the only one who has problems with her carpenters?

    Carisa: "Put the $10,000 table over there, right under that beam my carpenter is putting up. Oh, my god; that beam is going to fall on my $10,000 table. Take that beam down; I don't want it falling on my $10,000 table. If you break my $10,000 table I'm going to be really upset. OK, I'm just going to slide my $10,000 table out of the way. Oh, my god! See! I told you it was going to break! I guess I moved my $10,000 table just in time!"

    Hey Carisa, how much did that table cost?

    Michael mixes up a bunch of different chairs and thinks it's really clever:

    Who's a clever girl, then?

    Michael: "I am!"

    He also paints these weird abstract paintings in red paint because apparently red makes you hungry. Again, he thinks it's really clever:

    Todd: "Are you sure those painting would make you hungry and not, for instance, make you think of a horrific bloody crime scene?"

    Michael: "Yes, I'm sure. I think it's really clever."

    Todd: "Well, OK then. I'm looking forward to the judging.

    Goil is painting stripes on the wall:

    Goil: "Oh, shit! The paint bled under the tape."

    Todd: "Oh, I really like how you made it look like the paint bled under the tape."

    Goil: "Yeah, isn't that cool? That was totally done on purpose."

    The celebrity chef guest judge is Tom Colicchio from Top Chef. The judges wander around the dining rooms, taking the chairs for test drives. Margaret is really examining the merchandise, checking under Carisa's slipcovers. I was pretty sure she was about to tell that one chair to turn it's head and cough.

    So, How do the final rooms look?

    Michael's just doesn't look like much. You wonder where the $40,000 went. The chairs are cool but there are too many different types and there is nothing to pull the room together. I don't have a problem with the carpet, however, which the judges hate.

    Goil's is just messy looking. There is too much going on and, again, I don't know where the $40,000 went. The chairs don't go with the room. The dead-plant chandelier is interesting but I find it kind of creepy.

    Tom: "Can you explain the reasoning behind having so many different styles?

    Goil: "Well, I was trying to make a room that would go with your food, with everything different and nothing going together."

    Tom: "What? I think you're trying to say that the menus are created individually for each party?"

    Goil: "No, I'm saying your food sucks."

    Carisa's is not bad. It's a little plain but it's certainly more cohesive and comfortable than Michael's or Goil's. She runs out of time to set the table and blames this on her carpenter. Margaret complains that the banquette is too long but I think a banquette should extend the length of the wall. It makes more sense to say that maybe a private dining room shouldn't have a banquette in the first place. I thought someone would mention the fact that the person at the head of the table has to eat in the hole created by a knot in the tree. And, again, I don't know where the $40,000 went:

    Carisa: "That's a $10,000 table!"

    Will you shut up about the $10,000 table?! Where did the other $30,000 go? For patio furniture?

    Matt's room is really beautiful. I love the sheer fabrics on the walls, I love the leather floor panels, I love the Arts and Crafts inspired silverware, and the chairs are very sleek and modern but have a little mid-century feel to them. I feel like he was able to bring together all the influences into one cohesive, luxurious room.

    But the judges pick Andrea, who was supposed to lose because of her earlier comment about the importance of not being out on this challenge. I thought her room was beautiful and luxurious and the suede walls were a nice touch. But I didn't think there was anything different about it; it looked like a really nice dining room that you could already find in someone's house. And it looked %100 modern; I didn't get any feel of Arts and Crafts or mid-century in this room. Eric thinks I was being too literal in looking for those influences but I thought the designers were supposed to be making something for a specific client, not just a nice room.

    The designers are asked whose would be their least favorite room in which to eat dinner. I thought this was a great question and that most of the designers answered honestly. I hate the question "Who do you think should go home?" In Top Chef, for instance, the question of who should go home always turned into the question, "Who do you hate the most?" or "Who do you find the most annoying?" or "Who can't stand Marcel?" and never had anything to do with the actual challenge. But this question didn't bother me at all, since it simply had to do with personal taste and could be answered without being nasty and also didn't have to specifically relate to who should lose.

    And, in this case, it didn't. I agreed with the designers who said they wouldn't want to eat in Goil's room. But I also agreed with the judges that Goil's room was more interesting than Michael's and that Goil should stay. Michael didn't help his case, of course, by being a pain in the ass:

    Michael: "I don't care if the chef wants more storage area in his dining room. I don't want napkins being kept in the dining room and that's all there is to it. And, although I've never had a problem with saying bad things about the other designers in the past when I wasn't even asked, now, when asked for my opinion, I'm suddenly going to act superior and refuse."

    OK, time to get rid of Michael. I think he's very talented and he did some nice work, but he hasn't done anything outstanding and his attitude toward the judges is bad.

    See you later, decorator. You know, there is nothing wrong with being a decorator. There is no reason that should be an insult. As Eric pointed out, Michael is really good at shopping; he knows how to pick nice pieces. Maybe he should concentrate on that skill.

    Enjoy your bubble of splendor, Michael!

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    I Can Do That

    Most of us don’t need a “Chef’s room” anywhere in our lives but this week’s design can easily translate into a dining room, although many Americans don’t need those anymore either. And while I am an open minded person, I am also an avid lover of the Arts and Crafts movement. Needless to say many of these designers need to go back to Period Design 101. And even though most of this design wouldn’t fit into my house (since I have mission furniture)- once again maybe some of you are interested in bringing it into yours.

    So, to get the disappointment’s out of the way let’s start with the side board. People, I looked everywhere for that side board. And unless you are going to buy the one from the PDC, which you might have to fight Tom Colicchio for since that was the selling point in the room for him, you are going to have to settle. I found this modern wood one from Crate and Barrel and I think is pretty decent and as close as we are going to get without having to buy three butcher block cutting board, stain them and put ‘em on some legs.

    The other “failed quest” was for those white chairs with the cut-out in the back. So I shot for cheap. These are from your favorite cheap place and mine, Ikea. But I think I more than make up for the missing part of this design with my choice of dining table.

    Andrea’s table was a traditional tressel table in a lovely black/brown finish. I took some liberties, but when I found this one I just couldn’t resist choosing it. Available from Stacks and Stacks, this table has the rich tone that Andrea’s had but also the geometric quality that added the manly touch for our manly chef, Tom.

    This rug is from Add a Rug and shares the rich jewel tone of the one that was in the room. Not much more to say about that.

    I loved the lamps that were on the shelves in the room, but I’m sure that they are way out of any budget I might have. Through writing this piece every week I have discovered that Target Online has one of the most varying and vast stock of lighting fixtures. This one has an obvious different base but shares the “presence” the other had in the room. And besides it’s name is Zen Reclining Table Lamp...can’t we all use a little zen in our life?

    I really love Andrea’s choice of using table runner’s down each side instead of place mats, which most the time reads very “outdoor deck” eating to me. This runner is also from Target and while it’s not as sophisticated as her pattern was, it has similar qualities...aka it’s black and white. The dishes are white, so I will leave it to you to find the shape and size that works in your home. Same for the stemware. and flat ware.

    Finally, the vases that were scattered around the room. Believe it or not, these were also impossible to find, although I swear I’ve thrown out so many plain white vases that came with arrangements from florists. But anyway, these frosted ones are from Modern Vase and Gifts. And while these are...eh...the website is great. If you are looking for a basic vase for a party or even for your house this site has it and for a decent price. I would bookmark this one.

    Oh, and before I end this I would just like to show everyone what I found on Eurway website. Looks oddly familiar, huh? And while I’m not a huge Carisa fan, I am a huge fan of sticking it to snooty judges who have evil eyes, overly animated smiles, and are fashion impaired.

    Posted by Damselfly

    Diva Of The Week

    It’s time for the Diva of the Week Awards
    but since I am filling in for TheHoInMo this week,
    things will be slightly different.

    is this week’s recipient of the Diva award.
    Well, not Kelly so much as her hair.

    It demands attention.
    It will not be ignored.

    I tune in each week just to see what disaster
    Kelly will call fashion.

    Here is a rare image of Kelly as a child, with a friend.

    Well, this week, your hair went too far.

    I think Jonathan even agrees with me.

    Posted by Brillke


    Thursday, March 22, 2007

    Kelly, Kelly, Kelly

    Kelly, dahling, your hair made my blogger friend Jinxy think of Louis XIVth, the Sun King.

    I thought of Turn of the Century models dressed in leg o' mutton sleeves, also known as a gigot.

    And of those 1980's Bridal gowns that every soap opera star wore way back when...

    During Blogging Top Design's Live Pary, Linda Merrill from Surroundings mentioned that she was reminded of a barrister...

    Don't look at me! I'm John Cleese and I'm PAID to look ridiculous.

    Kelly, dahling, I love you. During the past seven episodes you have channeled the costumes of the entire history of the Western World, making yourself fodder for my snarkiness. I mean, if you meant to copy Stevie Nicks ... why didn't you mimic Nicole Kidman's style instead?

    She was drop dead gorgeous even before she met Tom whatshisname.

    By Ms. Place

    Labels: ,

    Wednesday, March 21, 2007

    Congrats/So Sad

    Mikey, we hardly knew ye. I can't say I loved your chef's table and the colors you chose, but dahling, you absolutely enlivened Top Design with your talent, feistiness, and charm. I'm so sorry that you didn't make it to the final four. We will miss you.

    Congratulations, Andrea. As soon as I saw yours and Matt's room I knew one of you would win. Your white suede walls and your rich detailing won this challenge for you. I love the way you focused on the challenge and met it head on. Sorry to use an old photo from a previous episode, dahling, but the Bravo team didn't see fit to post one of you winning this challenge. (Photo Switched: She deserves to look proud and happy!)

    Labels: , , ,

    Live Chat

    You’re invited to the Top Design Party
    Over at Blogging Top Design to discuss Episode 7!

    Grab a seat and chat with the BTD folks
    Phaolo, The Scarlett, Laura K, and TBone
    as the show airs live tonight,
    then come back here and tell us what you think of the new episode!

    Click here to join the party!

    Don't forget! Tonight's guest judge is Tom Colicchio from Top Chef!
    Even better, What What Happens with Andy Cohen will feature Laura Bennett.
    How cool is that?
    You can email questions or call into the show with questions.
    Here's the email address: watchwhathappens@bravotv.com
    Enjoy Everyone!!!


    Who is going, going, gone tonight?

    We're down to five designers, and the gloves are off. How will Goil -friend fare? Will the team of Mikey and Carisa live to fight another day? Will Andrea stay above the fray? And will Matt's extra hour give him an edge? With Tom Colicchio making a guest appearance, I for one can't wait to see tonight's show.

    Who's your fave? Who's gonna go? Inquiring minds want to know.

    Submitted by Ms.Place


    Tuesday, March 20, 2007

    It's Video Time!!!

    Let's take a quick break from Top Design and Bravo to view the new trailer for... (drum roll)


    Why?!?! Hello.... It is Captain Jack.

    OMG!!! Can not wait. May 25th. Mark the date.
    Click HERE to view the trailer.

    :::Catching breath:::

    OK, Back to Top Design. The preview videos for episode 7 are ready.

    Click HERE for the Bravo clip and HERE for the Yahoo clip.
    Come on Goil... we are cheering for you.

    Don't forget.
    Chef Tom, from Top Chef, is this week's judge.
    We know what kind of judge he can be.
    Come on you 5 designers...don't piss off the sexy Chef Tom.
    It will not be pretty if you do. He will make more than Goil cry.
    Posted by CaLady


    Monday, March 19, 2007

    Our Chat With Elizabeth and Heather.

    We had the opportunity to hear from both Elizabeth and Heather. Thanks ladies for taking the time to answer our fun questions. We appreciate getting to know both of you better.

    Us: For us poor peasants that can’t afford the big name designs, where would you recommend that we shop at?
    Elizabeth: nice store.... called EQ3, Canadian company...
    Room Service is another for contemporary.....

    Us: If you owned stock in this item, would buy, trade or sell? Why?
    Elizabeth :
    1. Lava Lamps
    buy, everyone loves at least one in there life time
    2. Marble counter tops
    trade for trespa
    3. Media rooms
    sell, all rooms will be media rooms
    4. Motorized window treatments
    buy as long as it is an 'intelligent' fixture run by solar panels or wind
    5. Doggie doors
    buy, poop smells

    Us: If you couldn’t be a designer, what would you be doing?
    Elizabeth: marine biologist

    Us:What is your favorite
    Elizabeth :
    Movie: today it is..... 'don't look now'
    CD: The Duhks ' Your Daughters and your Sons'
    Book: Ask and it is Given by Ester Hicks
    Vacation Spot: Bora Bora
    Guilty Pleasure: massage
    TV Show: Studio 60

    Us:Any embarrassing childhood stories you would like to share?
    Elizabeth: nope

    Us: Who do you admire/respect?
    Elizabeth: Mary and Ron Hulnick

    Us: What trend do you hope never comes back?
    Elizabeth: pants that are worn bellow the bum

    Us: For us poor peasants that can't afford the big name designs, where would you recommend that we shop at?

    Heather: Hi poor peasant friend! Here’s my trick. I search high end furniture websites (my favorite is www.1stdibs.com) , print out my inspirations, then search cheapo websites for reasonable knockoffs. It does take time, but if you‘re reading this site, you must like design,,,,,I guess. It‘s actually really fun and if you don’t log into 1stdibs, you can’t see the prices that are both scary and depressing. For more modern tastes, try Minotti (www.minotti-la.com)or ConranHome (www.conran.com). Good cheapies are www.homedecorators.com and www.ballarddesigns.com. Never blow off West Elm, Pottery Barn etc. And even with Ikea, as long as everything isn’t from the same place, you’ll be ok. Lazy design is the worst and easiest mistake. ArmaniCasa can look lame if the entire room is ArmaniCasa. Basically never underestimate your own personal style with no cash or tons o cash.

    Us:Have you ever designed anything that made you say, "What was I thinking?"

    Heather: Ummmm, Hello. I think you all witnessed that moment for me.

    Us: What one commonly used object would you like to trash or rip apart when you see it? What would you replace it with?

    Heather: Ugg boots. Replace with ...anything but. Oh, object…. Wall to wall carpet Replace with…wood floors…I like concrete too..but still not an object… Ok..I’ve got it! Store bought tchochkies and bric-a-brac. Like hemlines, the home accessories market changes every season to make us consume with an eye for trends. Chose objects that emotionally engage you. Put down that little candle holder at the counter unless you love it or it reminds you of something you grew up with. Don’t have stuff around for stuff sake. Embrace your personality and invest in objects that support you.

    Us: Seduction Scene: Woman seducing man

    Heather: Caveat: Anywhere, who cares, available light, and who cares..it’s a dude, let’s not fool ourselves…but

    Best place

    Book Store

    Best color


    Best light


    Sit? Stand? Lie down? On what?

    Hood of a car, a muscle car if possible

    Us: Seduction Scene: Man seducing woman

    Heather: Caveat: This really could go on forever…but Best place Museum

    Best color :

    Blue….as in the eyes

    Best light


    Sit? Stand? Lie down? On what?

    All of the above, twice

    Us: You enter a newly decorated room and the host and hostess are waiting expectantly for your verdict. You absolutely hate everything about it and in it. What's the fall back phrase you'll use?
    Heather: Barbie! You look beautiful! Ken, doesn’t Barbie look amazing! You guys are so good for each other! Everyone loves to feel beautiful, so I shift the attention from the room to the person, decide to drink soda so I won’t get “honest” and excuse myself early. If I knew the couple well, I would be honest, but always find something positive to get excited about. Mostly I am positively excited I don’t have to live there, and that is the point. There truly is something out there for everyone and no reason to knock anyone’s taste.

    Us: If you owned stock in this item, would you buy, trade, or sell? Why? (List of five items)

    1. Lava Lamps- Buy in 1965. Trade in 1974 for the Pet Rock.

    2. Marble counter tops- Buy. Sell. Buy. Sell. Buy, but now buy in Chinese Marble instead of Italian. I am using Calcutta on every countertop on the project ( long term stay hotels) I am doing now (client must have…not mine) and we are buying all of it from China at half the price as Italy.

    3. Media rooms- No idea. I do hotels, bars and restaurants for a reason.

    4. Motorized window treatments- Buy buy buy buy…and add a timer. I want this for my apartment badly!

    5. Doggie doors- Buy, for sentimental reasonsIf you couldn't be a designer, what would you be doing?Rock star/racecar driver

    Us: What is your favorite…

    Movie: Gone with the Wind and Heathers…It’s Sophie’s Choice between the two…please don’t make me choose

    CD: Pleased to meet me: The Replacements

    Book: Catcher in the Rye

    Vacation Spot: Paris

    Guilty Pleasure: Afternoon naps

    TV Show: Friends (also a Guilty Pleasure)

    Us: Any embarrassing childhood stories you would like to share?

    Heather: I do a lot of stupid stuff I think is cool, therefore the only people embarrassed are those around me, for me. But you want specifics. Hmmmmm
    Nope, I just think I’m funny. I hold my denial close and with much love.

    Us: Who do you admire/respect?

    Heather: Anyone with the grace to fight for their beliefs without alienating the opposition.

    Us: What trend do you hope never comes back?

    Heather: Shoulder pads Mauve

    Us: Anything you would like to say to the readers?

    Heather: Have fun always! Find the irony in pain. Don’t take yourself too seriously.


    Sunday, March 18, 2007

    Taste Patrol

    Three Hula Man Bobble Award

    Dahlings, as Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell will attest, there’s nothing more effective than a public spat to make people sit up and take notice. Young Michael and Carisa are not only unsheathing some impressive claws, but their subtext is truly Shakespearean. In fact, I enlisted the aid of my favorite Bard to reveal just what they were actually saying, punctuated by rolling eyes and heaving sighs and dramatic gestures. No doubt about it, their entertaining but immature side show deserved the top prize this week.

    Thou vain common-kissing flap-dragon! Flap flap flap!

    Thou gorbellied dizzy-eyed codpiece! One needeth a microscope to espy thine manly jewels.

    We leak in your chimney!

    Thou art so leaky that we must leave thee to thy sinking.

    Were I like thee I'd throw away myself.

    Most shallow man! Thou worms-meat in respect of a good piece of flesh indeed! [Thou hath] not so much brain as ear wax.

    Thou jarring bat-fowling flax-wench! Take thee hie!

    I will most humbly take my leave of you. You cannot, sir, take from me anything that I will not more willingly part withal. I never knew so young a body with so old a head. You are a hideous TOAD that hideth its paltry talent behind a furled tongue! It is thy clouded vision that prevents thee from bowing to my superior design skills. Confess, ye unctuous braying donkey, that I, a fair young maid, thought first and foremost to slake our clients' thirst upon a darkly painted bar!

    [Thou] appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. So there, thou waspish wench. Take thy bossy ass and performeth that which is worthy of thy useless sex, such as DROPPING off the FACE of my MANLY EARTH. Poof! Begone you bragger of naught, I wish thee hie!

    (GAWD, that felt good. Thanks for bearing with me, gentle readers. I feel so much lighter now that I’ve got Shakespeare off my bounteous chest!)

    Two Hula Man Bobble Award

    Goes to Mikey for comforting Goil. Mikey, you are a young Mr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in the making. You should take pride in receiving two prestigious awards this week; one for being a Bitch DIVA, and the other for comforting my Goil-friend.

    I knew Goil was going over the deep end when he began to compare himself to Jan Brady, but you found your inner Marcia and gave him true sympathy. I cannot thank you enough for this tender moment.

    The Bobble Won’t Wobble Award

    Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Just when I thought you'd gotten your fashion sense back again, here you go and wear a Carmen Miranda impersonator's dress and pair it with Olivia Newton John's exercise leggings. My eyeballs can only take so many visual shocks.

    I liked your hair, though, so your look was saved from the Trash It category.

    Please, dahling, try channeling Audrey Hepburn next time (you have the looks and figure.) My sensitive eyeballs will thank you for it.

    In case you think I've been ragging on Kelly too much, gentle readers, here's a link to Go Fug Yourself. Just go look for yourselves and you'll see that Ms. Place is always right.

    The Trash It Award

    Erik and Andrea, I would have forgiven you for ignoring Goil and upsetting him had you come up with a buffo design.

    Your tent was merely ok, and that screen, er barrier, er contraption simply killed any interest I had in entering your space. People had to walk around it. I (along with most everyone) hate to be forced to walk in a single line and guess what’s around the corner.

    Your ground-to-ceiling chandeliers were squat and lacked elegance, and those fuzzy red caterpillar flower arrangements looked amateurish. I found your loss quite surprising, as I assumed that your talented team would easily beat Mikey, Carisa, and Matt-colm In the Middle.

    I hated to see Erik leave because he was one of my faves, but this time the judges were right as he took responsibility for the overall design.

    Well, dahlings, the challenges are getting a tad better. I wish that this challenge had shown up earlier in the competition. My suggestion to the writers is to let our designtestants work on individual designs so that we can judge their work. With Erik gone, I am placing my bets on Matt.

    As an aside, check out Ed Schoen's other site, resident actor, comedian, and carpenter.