• Saturday, March 17, 2007

    Top Design Recap, Episode 6: Party Monsters: or My Goil likes to party all the time, party all the time, party all the ti-ime!

    Posted by Eric3000

    Legal disclaimer: Eric Three Thousand is a registered trademark of Eric Three Thousand Omnimedia and I dare you to say otherwise (that’s right, I’m talking to you, Oprah)! The quotes and events you are about to read are mostly fake. For instance, Sir Elton John does not chase people around with a fork, threatening to eat them. Everyone knows he uses the sterling silver spork that was specially commissioned from the Gorham Silver Company and presented to him by the Queen.

    Well, if the producers' goal was to pump up the drama to the point where I can't stand anyone on the show and don't care who wins, they've succeeded. The challenge, itself, was actually pretty good this week. Too bad I couldn't enjoy it because of all the fighting.

    Anyway, the remaining jerks and doormats are split in to two teams of three to create a party tent for Bacardi Limon in the plaza of the Pacific Design Center:

    Todd: “You’ll be working in the shadow of Sir Elton John and that’s a really big shadow.”

    Sir Elton John: “I’d watch what you say, Todd. You look good enough to eat.”

    Todd: “Oh, my god! He has a fork! Keep him away from me!”

    The theme music to the Benny Hill Show plays while Sir Elton John chases Todd around the Plaza of the Pacific Design Center. The point Todd was trying to make is that the plaza is where Sir Elton John puts on his annual Oscar party.

    The teams are Matt, Michael, and Carisa; and Andrea, Erik, and Goil. There are no team leaders. OK, we already hate team challenges but the format this week was even worse than usual. With nobody in charge it's just too easy for two people to gang up on the third to make sure that person is more vulnerable for elimination. That’s exactly what happened in this challenge.

    Goil and Carisa both come up with major ideas for their respective projects. Then their teammates take those ideas, change them, shut Goil and Carisa out of the entire rest of the process, and take credit for everything. That’s how it went, in a nutshell.

    The extended version goes like this: Goil comes up with the fantastic idea of gigantic chandeliers made of Bacardi bottles. Andrea and Erik love the idea and immediately get to work turning it to crap.

    Andrea: “Just don’t let Goil anywhere near those chandeliers. They were his idea in the first place so we can’t let him be involved in making them!”

    Erik: “I agree. If we let him work on them they’ll probably look good and then he’ll take credit for them.”

    Even Goil’s supposed friend, Sarah the carpenter, got in on the act:

    Goil: “The pieces of wood should go like this.”

    Sarah: “That’s not what Andrea wanted. Why don’t you go ask Andrea’s permission before you go opening your mouth.”

    Poor Goil. No wonder he was crying:

    Goil: “Well, all day long I hear how great Andrea is at this or how wonderful Andrea did that! Andrea, Andrea, ANDREA!”

    Later, Goil puts on an afro wig and makes a dramatic entrance at the party.

    The scenario is not too much different for Carisa. She comes up with the basic concept of the big "square donut" shapes that are the main feature of the space. Michael and Matt just complain about everything she says and then they take credit for whole project:

    Carisa: “So, I think we should have seating over here.”

    Michael: “Well, I’m an expert on parties because I actually went to a party once, and I’m telling you people are not going to want to sit down. We shouldn’t waste our resources on seating.”

    [Cut to the White Room, where Michael takes credit for all the seating.]

    Matt and Michael just spend the whole challenge making fun of Carisa:

    Michael: “Can you believe how dumb her ideas are?”

    Matt: “Ew, I know! Girls are so gross, right? Ha ha!”

    Carisa is listening in on Michael’s telephone call when he’s trying to order hookers for the party guests:

    Peewee Herman: “Excuse me! I’m trying to use the phone!”

    Oh, that wasn’t Peewee; that was Michael:

    Michael: “Carisa, I was on a very professional phone call to gogo dancers and I don’t need you making little choking noises when I mention gold jewelry. Did you hear me? It wasn’t just a phone call; it was a VERY PROFESSIONAL phone call. I think your behavior was very unprofessional, listening in on my professional phone call.”

    Carisa: “I get it; you were on a professional phone call. Would you like to discuss this for another hour or do you think we could get back to work now?”

    Todd tells Carisa and Matt that their tables are looking a little “caskety.”

    Matt: “Oh, yeah, I was just thinking that.”

    Carisa: “Yeah, me too; I just didn’t want to say anything.”

    Todd: “Ha ha! I’m just messing with you! I wanted to see if you would totally cave!”

    Matt: “Oh, I knew that but I wanted to play along with your joke. You are so funny, Todd!”

    Carisa: “Well, I think you are even funnier; I just didn’t want to say anything.”

    Todd: "God, you two are morons."

    Matt: "Wow, I was just thinking that we are total morons!"

    Carisa: "Yeah, I was about to say that!"

    Todd: “OK, shut up! But seriously, it looks like a casket. Change it.”

    Now we get a little behind-the-scenes look:

    Producers: “OK, everyone get out of the shot so we can have Goil trying to pick up a wall all by himself. It’ll be cute! Yeah, that’s good, Goil, but try to look a little more pathetic. OK, I really want to feel the emotion, here. And ... you’re struggling, you’re struggling, good, you’re so frustrated that you’re on the verge of tears, and ... you fall on your ass. Perfect! Next we’re going to drop a load of bricks on you. People will eat that up! You signed your medical release, right?”

    Two things that don’t seem to be explained for this challenge are what kind of budget or rules they had for entertainment and what the hell food had to do with anything. I get the five senses thing but I don’t think the food was ever mentioned in the judging so what was the point? And why did Andrea and Erik give that responsibility to Goil, who apparently had never eaten food before?

    On to the judging:

    Carisa, Michael, and Matt’s team has played it too safe. The room looks good but it looks like a basic cocktail lounge. The judges think it’s a little boring and they hate the flowers, for some reason. The guest judge, Ben Bourgeois, thinks the flowers should have smelled. I like the designer’s idea of just having the smell of lemons. Margaret wanted to see the gogo dancers but she also loved the bouncer, especially when he frisked her for concealed weapons. The guests preferred this party and this team wins the challenge. Matt says he is responsible for the space and the judges believe him, though there is no real evidence to support his claim. He gets an extra hour on the next challenge.

    Goil, Andrea, and Erik have lots of interesting ideas but the space is kind of a mess. The floor-mounted “chandeliers” are pretty cool but they are more like shelves than lighting fixtures. I’m sure they would have been cooler if they had just let Goil handle them. I understand that he tends to focus on details but he is really good with engineering and construction and if he says he can do something I believe him. The rest of the space looks too busy and haphazard. Margaret informs us that flowers are not supposed to be furry. Well, you learn something new every day. Jonathan tells us that a big part of designing is making your voice heard and says Goil should have forced his opinion on his teammates. I find this argument pretty lame. You can try to express your opinion but if you are outvoted by your two teammates, you eventually have to give in. He could have just yelled at them for two days so that they never finished the challenge but I don’t see how that would have been better. Sometimes, if you are working with jerks, you just have to stop fighting and get the job done. Neither the judges nor the guests loved the space. For some reason Erik says he is responsible for this mess and, again, the judges believe him without any real evidence to support his claim. Erik is sent home.

    Time to party:

    Jonathan: “Hey, guys, I have a fun way of saying ‘party’: it’s ‘par-tay!’ That’s how the brothers say it.”

    Margaret: “Do you mean black people?”

    Jonathan: “No; the Wachowski brothers.”

    [This bit was stolen from a Stella routine]

    Tune in next time when everyone refuses to answer a question! Ooh, that’s got me on the edge of my seat!


    Friday, March 16, 2007

    Diva Of The Week

    We have a tie for The Diva of the Week.
    And they are none other than.........

    These two are headed for a catfight and I want a front roll seat!

    I can hardly wait until next Wednesday

    because these two girls are bound to have the claws out and sharpened!

    Posted by TheHoInMo


    T Shirt Winners

    Congratulations to

    Janice O. - from Massachusetts


    Gary D. - from Texas

    They are the winners of a Top Design T-Shirt!!!!

    Thanks to everyone who entered and a special thanks to carpenter Ed Schoen for taking time out of his busy schedule to select the winners for us. We love you Ed!!!


    Wednesday, March 14, 2007

    I Can Do That...

    Hey, he, hey, hey, it’s time to throw a party, Top Design style...or should I say Bacardi style with a garnish of Top Design. And while I think that both designs had interesting elements, I really believe the winning party was the one I would consider recreating in my back yard. Most of the elements can be rented from a party supplier and rental place in your area, which you can find by going to Party Pop and looking up your location...or you could call Carisa and Michael. But there are elements that you might need to buy elsewhere.

    The liquor...well I don’t think you need my help finding that in your town. However, you can stop by the Bacardi web site and get some ideas about the drinks you can mix up with all the various flavors the company has to offer. Just be prepared to tell them your age...I didn't know you could card someone online.

    You can go two ways with the tent. You can rent one and have it put up in your back yard. Or you can go the route I would choose and get yourself one of these very cool “sail” awnings for your backyard from Shade Sails. Very sheik and it doesn’t scream “WEDDING”. Besides, it also covers that yellow fabric panel hanging from the ceiling. What exactly was that?

    The bar that Carisa claimed to design...I don’t know who designed it and I don’t care...is very bulky and not very good for a backyard party so as it seems I’m designing down I found this one for $99.99 at Brookstone. It has the color scheme without being intrusive. And it matches these...

    ...great bar table sets I found at BarStools & BarStools for $107.14. They aren’t exactly like the streamline ones the designers had but...what is and these are very chic. When you are done with your party you can tuck them in a corner of a room for a breakfast nook.

    The mirrors are a good touch and a way to add “walls” to the tent that doesn’t have them. However, they aren’t cheap...what is anyway. I found this one at Ikea (where else!) .

    And while we are at Ikea they have these coffee tables that could double as the benches that added the nice club feel to the room.

    Add these small side tables I discovered at Just My Shopping, and the lounge area would really come to life. Ok, they aren’t the “coffin” tables that the winning team built but put a bowl of lemons on the shelf under the glass and you’ll have a similar feel. Come on people...work with me here.

    The final touch of the cala lilies are your choice. I personally will sing the praises of silk flowers due to the fact that they made one less thing I had to worry about at my wedding and nobody believes they weren’t real. Cantalina Flowers has a great selection and you can get 12 stems for $71.40, which compared to the real thing is a decent price. But you do what works for you....

    And on a final note....literaly...hop on over to 800dj and in three easy steps you can find one in your area that can help set that mood to your wishes. Because come on here Bacardi might have the money to hire a Top Design-er but who really wants to little girls having a verbal slap-fest in the middle of your chill evening. Wow, is anyone else having a prom flashback?
    Posted by Damselfly



    Dahling, booh, hoo, hoo! I cannot get over the shock. You are so classy, taking full credit for the losing design. You are so talented, but the room did suck overall. Sorry to see you latered, as I love you every which way and then some. This show was splendid. Yes, it was. So why did you not shine? (See below)

    Oh, you beautiful, marvelous man ... not only are you gone, but so is Jared.

    Booh, hoo, hooooooo! Drat, gosh, golly, darn, "F--K!!!!" Not only did we lose our Eye Candy, but we shall miss one of the most talented designers of the bunch.

    Love you, dahling. We all wish you much success in your future. And, oh, you looked stunning sitting besides Tim Gunn during the live chat. Hope meeting him made up for your loss.


    Matt ...

    ... You gained an hour for your win, while we all lost one when we sprang forward! You are the magic man. Your vision and design won you the overall win. Congrats, dahling.

    Great show. Lots of energy. Loved the bickering between Carisa and Mikey. Oh, you two, dahlings, you are so de trop!

    Matt, you disappeared in the background during this challenge, letting Mikey and Carisa duke it out.. Good move. We look forward to seeing more of you!


    Live Party With BTD

    You’re invited to the Top Design Party
    Over at Blogging Top Design to discuss Episode 6!

    Grab a seat and chat with the BTD folks
    Phaolo, The Scarlett, Laura K, and TBone
    as the show airs live tonight,
    then come back here and tell us what you think of the new episode!

    Click here to join the party!

    Don't forget to catch Andy's post show,
    "Watch What Happens" over on Bravo.com
    Tonight's guest is Tim Gunn!
    You can email questions or call
    into the show with questions.
    Enjoy Everyone!!!


    Who's Going Next?

    We are down to 6.
    Who is going next?
    More important, who makes Goil cry?

    Share your thoughts with others.


    Tuesday, March 13, 2007

    Some Final Giggles, Videos and BIG NEWS

    Before we move onto episode 6, some final giggles.

    " I will so fucking burn your house down"

    "Nobody has heard from Ryan
    but his camera was found.
    This is the last picture that was taken."

    Need one last look at episode 5, Click HERE for the recap.

    Click HERE for preview of episode 6.


    This just in from " The Dish"on Bravo.com. Bravo has purchased the website. TelevisionWithoutPitty.com Click HERE and HERE to learn more.

    Posted by Brillke


    Their Prayers Were Answered...

    We did it! We saved the kittens.
    Lets celebrate!

    Um, I won't even comment on how this kitten
    chose to celebrate.
    Look away, pervs.

    Kittens can come out of hiding.

    Lets hope it isn't too late to save this poor sap.

    Cats can now express their true feelings about Ryan.

    So, feel free to drop your disguises.

    Regain your dignity.

    Everything will be ok.

    Posted by Brillke

    Sunday, March 11, 2007

    Taste Patrol

    Dahlings, I’m largely ignoring this week’s garage renovation challenge.

    At first I was excited at the thought of our designtestants meeting a real life challenge in a real world setting that had doors, windows, and ceilings. But the more I think about the Bell family's silly requests, the less hopeful I feel about this show finally heading in the right direction.

    Puhlease, folks, get real. A fumy, oily garage is no playground for children or a sleeping pen for dogs, and an outhouse is no place for a home office. Our designtestants thought the same thing.

    We're *F--Kd* guys, but just keep smilin'

    Three Hula Man Bobble Award

    My three hula men began to bobble wildly when I chose Erik and Jared as this week's recipients of the prestigious TD Blogger award. My ultra sensitive HUNK thermometer shot up a thousand degrees the moment Erik chose Jared as his carpenter.

    Yum, yum, yum! Ms. Place felt her juices flow like slow moving lava through her cholesterol clogged veins in anticipation of viewing these two fabulous specimens of manhood as they toiled half naked alongside each other.

    And then…and then…? Bravo failed to deliver what it promised. We hardly saw the carpenters. Waaaah! I’m still recovering from this major let down and have yet to drag my depressed tongue off the floor.

    Jared not making Goil-friend cry

    Two Hula Man Bobble Award

    Two Hula men go to Mikey for his superb timing. At just the divinely right t.v. moment, he stopped his inexplicable tirade against Carisa in order to pee. (Banana yellow in a grape colored urinal, no doubt.) It's a pretty sad indictment, isn't it folks, that I'm handing one of my valuable awards to a bathroom moment. But since the show is tanking, this was as fitting a metaphor as any.

    Here's Mikey looking like Igor telling Carisa where to get off. Don't you just love theatre of the absurd?

    The Bobble Won’t Wobble Award

    Nothing about guest judge Mark Rios wobbles my bobbles. What a dork. You try "composing" trash in four hours, buster. Matt did an outstanding job of ORGANIZING, given the time constraints and the amount of family crapola he needed to paw through.

    Where on earth did Bravo find this judge? When I turned to Mark's blog for clarification, I found that he had barely strung 250 intelligible words together. Even the assistant's blog was better, which is saying less than nothing.

    The Trash It Award

    If you're wondering who's responsible for this yawn of a show, look to the producers. In reading their early interviews, I found little similarity between their first optimistic statements and the final product.

    "This highly anticipated new series puts the spotlight on interior design," said Frances Berwick, Executive Vice President, Programming and Production, Bravo. "Los Angeles is an exciting and colorful backdrop that will give our competing interior designers the chance to utilize all the city has to offer, while giving viewers a peek inside their creative and challenging world."

    Utilize all the city has to offer? Let’s see. Pacific Design basement cubicles. Pier One. Target. Three square yards of roped off Malibu Beach. The Bell family's uber Disneyfied garage. And…?

    We have an early-adopter audience, a crowd that likes the next thing," [Berwick] said. "We're going to lose people as quickly if we don't constantly innovate and rejuvenate. But that makes for the fun part of the job, too."

    Gee, gosh, golly, Frances, hope you’re having tons of fun, 'cause we're not.

    Scott Stone and Clay Newbill from Stone & Company serve as Executive Producers of the show. Scott was responsible for such non-Emmy worthy projects as Ivana Young Man for Oxygen; America's Ugliest…, for TLC; a The Mole for ABC; Popstars for The WB; Fame for NBC; The Man Show for Comedy Central, and Loveline for MTV.

    We could go on and on, but I think you get the gist. Producing Shakespeare, or even good television, for that matter, ain’t one of Stone & Company’s passions. Plus they made the unforgiveable sin of hiring the assistant and putting him in charge of his own useless blog.

    I end with a quote from Lauren Salznick, VP of programming,"Now our passionate viewers will be rewarded each week when they 'watch what happens' as the creativity and drama unfold through each pressure-filled design challenge."

    Glad you think the show is pressure-filled Lauren. That makes at least one person. Anyone else?

    Jonathan, Killer Bee Judge?

    Disclaimer: In ordinary times and under ordinary circumstances, Ms. Place is known for her generous hearted spirit, good manners, and sweetness to puppies, helpless babies, little old ladies and designers alike. Her snarkiness and sarcasm have been diagnosed as the result of spending too many hours tossing her shoes at her t.v. screen in frustration as yet another goofy and senseless challenge unfolds on Top Design.